The difference in our lives is how we relate to these happenings.
By accepting all our experiences we can become non resistant towards life and develop a true sense of peace. We become unflappable.
This is not a passive acceptance. As Gandhi has said, “I am never passive about anything.”
When we use these words, “And this, too,” it is a first step into learning how to relate to what is.
I can’t make things go away, and I can never run fast enough! So the only alternative is to learn to live in a peaceful way with life.
Dr. Robert Johnson, a Jungian philosopher, has said that wholeness, by its very nature, means leaving nothing out. So, what is it we want to exclude? Do we want to be whole?
How much of our experiences do we try to ignore, deny, or somehow run from? We just plain don’t like this stuff! And are nowhere near acceptance.
Ask yourself how well this works for you. Have you been on the bumpy edge long enough — upset and resentful over situations that you can’t control or change?
If you would like to try another approach, begin by breathing deeply when you experience unhappiness, and say, “And this, too.”
Check out your response. Find out what’s really going on in your soul. Your body can help you, as it never lies. Notice the tightness and the withholds in your muscles. Are you breathing deeply, and evenly?
I add another prayer: “Thy will, not mine, be done.” This helps me trust that the universal energy knows better what needs to take place than I do.
Remembering this takes time and requires lots of practice. It’s a process.
I follow these prayers with journaling, doing my best to see what part of my personality does not want to accept the “unacceptable.” For this is the growing edge of my life.
What can I not accept? What will I not accept? And how is this helpful?
What is my deep down motive?
My desire is to come into a harmonious relationship with everything that occurs, for life is relationship. Can I find a harmonious, non-resistant way of relating?
To somehow endure the unendurable is the way our souls mature.
In finding a way to relate to whatever happens in life, I allow my experiences and emotions all the space they need. This takes time. Time and patience, and lots of willingness to give myself love.
My ego may have a problem with this — but my soul is only here to grow and express my authenticity, all of it! In soul work, all that happens is acceptable. Everything works for good, for it is all of God.
God’s delays are not God’s denials. Something good will happen!
By using these attitudes I have noticed that the rough places on my journey have become easier. And there’s more joy.
Here’s a poem by Rumi has helped me immensely. I’ll share it with you.
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Yes, and this, too! Thank you, God. It’s all a part of life and needs to be included in this one great tapestry.