Balancing Heaven and Earth, pg 119, Robert A. Johnson
Have you felt a yearning inside your heart that calls you to do something, to experience something so dear that it can bring you to tears?
I think at sometime all humans have felt this. It is something planted within us, given to us by God. It is our true vocation. It sometimes visits us in our dreams. It can even haunt us like the hounds of heaven.
I remember a dream I had when I was about 12 years old while our country was engaged in WWII.
In this dream I was sitting at a high level conference table across from Stalin. He and I were the only ones in the room and I was instructing him how to teach his people to love. I watched his eyes fill with tears as he listened to me and realized he had gone wrong.
I didn’t share this dream with anyone. It was far too crazy. Who was I, a young girl, to teach Stalin (known as the butcher) anything? What influence could I possibly have on him?
The dream remained buried inside, forgotten, until I was in my forties and taking a course at Unity Village when it popped full blown into my mind. I wrote all of it I could remember.
Since then I have studied dreams and discovered everyone and everything in our dream is a part of ourselves. And a literal interpretation is usually a mistake.
This dream was a huge dream. It eventually called me into my vocation. Although my career was mothering four children.
Years later when I learned how to work with dreams, I dialogued with all the parts of the dream. My inner Stalin was hell bent on having it’s own way no matter how much damage was left in the wake.
Yet, I also discovered that down deep this character really yearns for love.
In this dialogue process I began integrating the various parts of the dream. I wasn’t aware then, but this was a very real beginning of my vocation — teaching love.
Teaching love isn’t easy. Especially teaching it to the mean spirited dictator within. It requires inner strength to love myself when I am mismanaging or butchering things. I don’t do it well.
Love is not indulgence. Not saying, “Oh well, that’s OK. Everyone makes mistakes.”
Love is compassion. Love is honesty. Love is redemptive. Love requires new action.
Over the years I continued to integrate my inner dictator and paid much more attention to my actions. Stopping as I noticed when I began acting this way. One of the red flags was how I suddenly had a power surge. The dictator has issued commands and expects them fulfilled! Now!
Taking this to my journal rather than acting it out was my next step.
Gradually I became much more intimate with this dictator. I had some fearsome dialogues indeed. And the former catastrophics of my relationships with loved ones subsided. My journal took much of the heat! That’s part of the beauty of journaling. Much less mess to clean up.
Another interesting part of this big dream came many years later when I was visiting Moscow (on a trip that had been planned many months earlier) during the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991. I saw those tanks and visited the protestors living in tents all around the government building where Gorbachev made that incredible speech from the balcony.
Not only was I there when Lenin’s statue was knocked down, but I gave the first Unity message at the first Unity church in Moscow on opening day. Here I was face to face with the people of Moscow during this huge upheaval.
During my Sunday message and 3 hour afternoon seminar on “Lessons in Truth” by Emily Cady, I shared my dream with Stalin to a rapt audience.
A little girl talking with Stalin! How ridiculous! They got it, too, as they laughed with me in all the right places.
Yes. Maybe it was impossible on a literal level, but symbolically healing occurs. What takes place within us will express outwardly in our world.
I felt the tremendous love that flowed between us that day. The Russian people were beginning a new journey into freedom. They were excited and they were frightened. Their journey may take many more years, but a journey begun will find its way to fulfillment through many starts and stops, for that is the way of all meaningful journeys.
As the within, so the without.
And just how did the universe conspire to bring all these amazing and unique circumstances about? I never in a million years could have planned this experience.
How do miracles happen? God calls us into service and we follow, blindly perhaps, stumbling perhaps, but we feel the promptings from within—and there is nothing to do but go.
Please consider, if you haven’t already, how the universe is calling you?
What or whom are you here to serve?
What are you being chosen for? And more importantly, will you answer?
Perhaps you have.
Opening to the yearnings of our hearts brings forth a new world! Let love take us where it will.
Nurture all the aspects of this deep yearning within. It will require soul force from you, for it is your noble purpose and demands everything. And it gives all.
Patiently, lovingly, hold your calling reverently in your heart.
It will unfold, under grace, in due season. Seeds grow when conditions are right. Dreams cannot be forced, just cared for.
And you are the only one who can do this holy work.