when you walk away from
all the drama and the people who create it.
who make you laugh,
forget the bad, and focus on the good.
Love the people who treat you right.
Pray for the ones who don’t.
Life is too short to be
anything but happy.
Falling down is part of life,
getting back up is living.
Relationship is everything, so it is important that we learn to relate to others in a healthy way.
The piece quoted above can help to create healthy boundaries — boundaries that determine our edges and our limits. Healthy boundaries are permeable but do not collapse when confronted or abused.
Are we using our boundary to guard ourselves from irritating, angry, abusive people? Or to keep threatening situations at a distance? So we build walls to keep them away.
Or are we setting boundaries that say something like, “No, you can’t play here. This is my space, and I declare it to be a place of peace. Therefore only people who can contribute to peace are invited into my space.” And as we do this we continue to hold these beings closely in our hearts, sharing our love.
If we do the latter, we will maintain a sense of inner harmony when the other person is around, for we have our space, and they have theirs.
But if our boundaries have collapsed, we won’t want to be in the same room with them—or perhaps even the same city.
So we need to discover our true intentions. What is our motive that underlies this relationship? It has been my experience that these are best discovered by speaking directly to the other person and dialoguing with them (allowing them to speak back to us) in a journal.
Discovering motives means that we ask questions. We inquire. When we find ourselves in an upsetting relationship, a good question to ask ourselves is: In what way do I feel threatened?
Letting ourselves answer this profound question (over and over) is a powerful way of meeting our fears and developing the maturity so that others no longer control us or our emotions.
This is liberation, true freedom, which includes safe and healthy boundaries.
Let me make myself clear about threatening relationships. I am not speaking of people who threaten to harm us physically in any way. Physical threats need to be dealt with very differently. But even in these instances we must also do our soul work to explore how we got into this kind of relationship. Perhaps we were born into it. In any case, good therapy, as well as spiritual practice, will be needed!
Freedom from tyranny is always worth the effort, for we are meant to live in peace and harmony. Relationships are here to nourish us.
We can plant the seeds of grace each day by seeking our true motivation in every relationship and giving ourselves to Spirit moment by moment.
Inside that which scares us we will find that which saves us.
Recommended reading to establish boundaries that bring forth love and peace: Spiritual Bypassing, by Robert Masters Chapters 11 & 12