This is a lot of work! A high cost to the soul
I thought if I knew the right people and had the right image I would be successful.
I thought if I could please others enough I would always feel loved and safe.
I thought knowledge would bring me satisfaction, and perhaps even fame.
I thought enough money, the right home, and enough capital would provide a secure future.
And I hoped beyond hope that I could meet these high expectations for myself.
I’m a virgo. A virgo’s prayer is, “God, please make me over and don’t screw it up like you did last time.”
High expectations indeed — thinking I know better what I need than God does!
What I have found is that my real needs are simple.
I need a reliable, dependable, consistent, trust-filled relationship with God.
I need a daily meditation practice.
I need soul honesty and a generosity of spirit.
I need right companionship. To me this means that the people I hang out with are dedicated to honesty, self reflection, generosity, and openness of heart and mind.
I have discovered that what matters most is authenticity.
I need others who will show me my weak spots, while walking compassionately with me, and I with them in the same manner.
Success, if it comes at all, will have to follow on its own terms. I must be willing to do without it, if I am to pay for what I truly need. I can’t pay for success. It comes on its own, or it doesn’t come at all.
Recently I watched an interview between Bill Moyers and Wendell Berry, in which Wendell Barry (author of over 40 books and long time social activist) said of his endeavors:
“It’s not whether you’re going to be successful. It’s whether it’s the right thing to do.”
This is the important question. It is right? Does it follow spiritual principles of compassionate awareness of what is - reality?
So what are you searching for in your life? And where are you looking?
And more importantly, what are you willing to pay for?
What are your values? Have you taken the time to sort them out, and really spend time with them?
Or is the TV more important? Or computer games? Or buying something new? Or beating someone at something?
To me success is a feeling inside you that you have lived your life by spending time with what matters most.
When we follow that which matters most to us, we can’t lose!
Our path, no matter where it winds and no matter how often we feel lost, will always lead us right to our heart.
These are the treasures in heaven that will never be taken away.
And they matter most!