Will things never go right?
Are you good enough? Ever?
Do these questions plague you sometimes? They certainly do me.
And when you ask the questions, where do you go for answers?
I do my best to follow this sage advice: Go to God first, and then to people as God directs.
A journal is very useful for going to God for help during these stressful times. In my journal I pour out all my angst. Just in doing this I begin to find a sense of release. Some kind of connection is beginning.
My journal can hold my heart.
I don’t necessarily find answers — at least not right away. And sometimes I do. They just pop right up.
What I notice is that after I have let my worries, beliefs and thoughts flow out onto the pages, I feel more spacious. There’s now more room for answers. I’m not so tied to a certain view, a one-sided approach.
Then dialogue begins. I place God’s name in the margin, and open my soul to being the God that has created everything. That’s a big space to occupy! It takes imagination. But that is what life is about.
Then I just write whatever comes. I find myself being surprised, but not always pleased by the answers.
Yet, there is more space in my mind.
Spaciousness can be very wonderful. It also can be interpreted at emptiness.
Will I let this space be filled with my next thoughts, my interpretations?
Or will I just let it lie there empty?
I find that when I let the emptiness be, something unbidden seeps into my consciousness.
This means waiting.
While I wait I return to the awareness of the simple breath that is breathing me. Somehow it leads me into a deeper place, where new things develop. Conscious breathing does that.
As I let the breath be my focus, I wait and see what comes up.
As Dr. Ira Progoff says: There is no substitute for waiting.
Amazing things can happen here. When I don’t try to fill the emptiness with all my addictions, the ways I have used to stay in my comfort zone, something new can be birthed.
The new always comes from the deep.
I write down whatever comes. This is a continuing dialogue. God and me. Connecting.
I then use the ideas that come, integrating them into my life. And I feel the joy of knowing I’m being guided. Wisdom comes as I listen deeply, as I persevere, waiting on God.
I recommend trying this. Unless you have a better idea!
God waits for us all, so patiently. That’s what the empty space is for.
Let God fill it. Trust.