And how sad and angry I had become as a result.
How disappointed I was when my children, my husband, my friends or neighbors didn’t give me what I thought they should —what I so badly wanted. I felt rather forlorn, deprived.
I began taking all these disappointments and hurts to my journal and dialoguing with the other, whomever or whatever it was. I delved into my underlying motives for wanting so desperately whatever it was. Why did I think I needed it? Was it fear speaking? Or greed? Or the desire to get approval?
I gradually became more and more honest with myself and looked for the subtle, or not so subtle, ways I had manipulated, finagled, or tried to “guilt” someone into doing something.
And even when it was a successful ploy and I did wrangle someone into doing something, I reflected on just how much joy it had actually brought me.
Yes, there was always some struggle, and I didn’t feel closer to others when I got “the prize.”
Gifts that are not given freely aren’t really gifts.
If a gift doesn’t come from the heart, it’s much too costly, for it will have strings attached and eventually lead to resentment.
So I began letting others off the hook and trusting the universe to supply me with my true needs. What a turnaround that was.
And in this process I have discovered that I either didn’t need whatever it was, or God gave it to me (or something better) in the most incredible and satisfying way!
I have continued to open my heart to the highest love I can give, allowing others the freedom to follow their hearts.
I give what I desire to receive.
And when my inner child is disappointed, I love her, hold her and remind her that God has always taken care of us, supplied us with our true needs. We’ll do just fine.
As Jung says, we are all recovering children.
And if we don’t take care of the little child within us, who will?
Whatever others give me willingly is enough has become a mantra for me.
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, and comes from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variableness…” James 1:17
We don’t always know what we really need, nor do we know where it will come from. So let God surprise us. Trust — like a little child.
The good we seek is seeking us!
And it’s already here in some form — visible or invisible.
We can relax. Breathe, love, trust, and dearly hold your inner child to your heart.