There are consequences to every action. They either lead to connecting in a helpful way with another—or in an unhelpful way.
Our actions follow our thoughts and attitudes.
Dr. Rollo May’s book, Love or Perish eloquently discusses this issue. Each of us must make the choice again and again, for together we create our world.
To love, and not perish, we will need to connect with something that is higher, greater and more enduring than any one of us, yet flows through each of us, healing, loving and bringing new wholeness to each being in the process.
What is this something? It is often called God, or Higher Power.
If we don’t let this higher energy run our lives, we will forget we are connected, and will hurt, maim and kill one another.
This entails our discovering that which is so valuable that we forsake everything lessor for it. There is a huge cost involved. It does not come cheaply. It entails high risk, but with the greatest possible gain.
I know it as “The Hero’s Journey.”
This ancient Grail myth symbolically depicts the hero, Percival, being called into the great adventure. He answers the call, knowing he may die—yet it is vital that he go.
Percival rides into the dark forest, alone, in search of the Holy Grail—that sacred vessel symbolic of an authentic life—that which we must become at the cost of giving up all else.
It is our soul purpose.
The Holy Grail, the chalice, is kept in the Grail Castle. But each time Percival tries to enter the Castle he is blocked for he must learn to ask the right question.
(Please note that quest and question have the same root word.)
And he learns this by pursuing the wrong ones.
Each time he is refused entrance he becomes engaged in bloody battles with powerful dark knights and crafty, deceiving spirits in which he suffers greatly.
After many forays into the wilderness he returns to the Castle wounded and wiser.
As he approaches this time he hears the right question:
“Whom do you serve?”
At that moment the Grail Castle doors swing open.
Asking the right question is vital to our quest. But it usually only comes after many tests that distract us and take us further off our path.
Yes, we get thrown into the moat often.
But deep inside each of us lies the yearning of something so beautiful, precious and true, that we keep on.
We persist, no matter that we are wounded, exhausted, and sometimes nearly dead.
For this sacred cup is the only one that will truly satisfy our thirst.
We have been born with a calling that won’t leave us alone until we answer. It is our highest purpose—our reason for being. Without it nothing else satisfies.
The other day I lost my sense of purpose.
Yep, got thrown into the moat where it felt as if the barracudas were going to devour me.
My journal is my refuge. I wrote to God, complaining as I often do, about how things were not going the way I wanted them to go.
I spewed out all my angst and sense of failure and threw them at God, as if it were somehow God’s fault that I was in this dark, troubled place.
God was management and I was angry at management.
After heaping this harangue on God, I wrote God’s name in the margin of the page, and waited for “his/her” answer.
For relationship, connection, is a dialogue, not a monologue.
Becoming the Great Creator of All isn’t easy, but I did my best.
As Marilyn Ferguson has said, “If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing half assed.”
Sometimes in life we just need to try. No matter how many times we miss the mark, we do receive bits and pieces that, over time, weaves something quite beautiful.
So l closed my eyes, took several deep breaths and just imagined how the Great Creator of the Universe, the Higher Power, would answer Billie.
Then I wrote whatever came.
Yes, I was making it all up, but that is what life is about, Making Stuff Up! It’s the name of the university, MSU, of which we are all graduates.
We create our lives through this process of “mind.” We make it up through our intentions (conscious and unconscious).
Intention creates reality. What purpose am I intending?
As I let the dialogue between myself and God unfold what I finally heard that we—God and I—had two different roles.
My job was to allow myself to evolve spiritually, to surrender to the all-encompassing Spirit of the Earth. To just be worked upon and trust the process.
God’s job was to be Grace, the grace that would take me through any difficulty. Grace is both a verb and a state.
I had gotten confused and had been trying to play both roles!
Each time I was nervous about outcome I had moved into God’s role.
My job was to stay with the intention of growing spiritually and accepting everything as my teacher.
My work is to trust the process and not try to figure things out or try to make something happen, but to follow the instruction I was given through listening to guidance.
And remember God’s grace.
I was to serve that which is higher—which meant not getting upset and anxious when things didn’t happen quickly enough or didn’t go the way I thought they should.
WHOM WILL I SERVE?
Am I going to serve God, or my own agenda?
This is the question that I answer again and again with every choice I make—with every thought.
I only need to be willing to let life evolve me, and accept universal grace, the energy of love.
When I live in grace I receive comfort. It’s not of my doing—it’s a gift. I don’t know how grace works. Grace—the Holy Spirit—is a mystery.
So, I encourage you, also, not to give up, no matter how many times you seem to fail, nor how often you get distracted or how wounded and useless you feel.
You might ask yourself, “Whom do I serve?” and stay with the question even after you receive an answer.
Each answer serves as the next question.
Life is a quest, not an ans.
In lovingkindness, Rev. Billie