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SEEING BEYOND WHAT IS VISIBLE

1/26/2015

“Steadfastly facing Thee, there is no matter with its laws to bind.” Emma Curtis Hopkins

In my early years of studying how the mind works I read this statement and have been deeply contemplating and doing my best to integrate it.

I like to update ideas into a more current vernacular so they can be understood more readily. This is my present interpretation:

“We find freedom within any circumstance or condition by staying focused on our Source; Divine Creativity.”

Jesus called this “keeping our eye single.” Matt. 6:22

We experience true liberation as we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28) within this Presence, this Oneness with God, with the All.

There is no freedom in believing matter is cause…..of anything! This occurs when we think we will be happy, free, living in bliss later on, i.e. when we get better, become healthier, richer, or when we find the right relationship.

Until then we’ll keep trying to figure things out and working towards our good. It’s “out there somewhere” but we’re still “here,” trying to get “there.”

This is duality.

When we come from a place of duality we divide things up, continually splitting what is, reality, into opposites — good or bad, her/him or me, right or wrong, tragic or happy, etc.

When we come from a place of Oneness, we know that everything is connected, and we see things differently. Fear lessens and we begin to function from discernment, rather than trying to get rid of what we don’t want and get more of what we think is good or desirable.

The truth is that we are free right now — free to look at everything, all of our difficulties, challenges, pain and suffering as just part of the path, nothing to get excited about. This is the freedom in which new possibilities are born.

Things (we…our loved ones, our finances) don’t have to get better before we experience the joy of living!

Quantum physics shows us that everything is connected, nothing is separate. It is all one fabric — changing, vibrating, and in constant movement.

This very fabric of life has only one Source, and as we find a way to connect in our minds with this One source, we feel, think, speak and act differently.

What follows is a humorous true story that depicts this dilemma.

This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation of a US Naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995:

Canadians: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees South to avoid collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert your course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert your course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES’ ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT‘S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASUSRES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Humorous, perhaps, but how many times has our ship foundered on the rocks because we refused to listen to what life was showing us?

We simply continued on our set course, demanding, hoping that things will change, without really opening up to what we are believing about life.

We ignored the hand writing on the wall and kept right on going. Crash!

So, now when I hit a barrier, I am learning to slow down, stop and reflect. I take time to dialogue with what seems to be causing pain or frustration to see where I need to change course.

What I’m discovering is that this “obstruction” has many gifts. It’s really a “light” telling me I need to correct my course by seeing things differently, by looking deeply into my beliefs.

Somehow I have been living in a world of duality, seeing myself separate from the One Presence and One Power, God.

I know it because I feel stuck, bogged down. Who have I been making wrong? Where have I projected my unhappiness onto them? Or it? Things out there aren’t the way they should be!

My journal will eventually show me my deep seated beliefs, and I can then begin to laugh at the humor of it all!

“Hear, O Israel, the Lord, our God, is One.”

So, what am I trying to separate, to divide up? To get rid of? To shove out of my life? This will be my stuck place.

Or I can be like Napoleon, stubbornly stating “There shall be no Alps.” It’s more helpful to allow life to help me clearly see the obstacles.

Investigation and exploration into the deeper waters of our difficulties can help us avoid the rocks.

When I let go of my arrogance of thinking I know what needs to happen or what outcome is best, things improve. By looking deeply at my motives, I alter the ways in which I’m thinking and acting.

I trust that if one way is blocked, another, an even more productive way, will open. PROCEED AS WAY OPENS is one of my mantras.

My prayer is to have the wisdom to use the light that is given me.

Let me be content with the way things are right now. I can take the steps that are mine to take and know that as I look toward the light more will be given.

I don’t have to know the ultimate outcome.

I think this is what it might mean to live in the present moment.

My blessings are with you as you find your way into your greater destiny. The Light is always here.

You are worthy of it! And I’m holding all the possibilities open.

Rev. Billie

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COMPASSION

1/20/2015

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Webster’s dictionary defines compassion as: Sympathetic consciousness of the distress of others with the desire to relieve it.

My definition is keeping your heart open, extending lovingkindness, especially when it’s hard to do so.

Being aware of distress (ours or another’s) is not pleasant, just necessary. That is, if we want happiness and contentment in our lives.

There is inevitable suffering in life, and there is relief from it.

The way out is in and through. (Another one of life’s paradoxes.)

We must journey through all that is in our consciousness. As a wise guru has said, “The mind is not ours, but we are responsible for it.”

All that takes place within us must be worked through, “cooked” by the grace of God. We always have choices in the ways we respond.

What brings meaning to life are the constructive choices we make as we become aware of distress, either ours, or another’s.

And trying to fix the distress of someone else just doesn’t work, not for lasting happiness. Even when it seems successful, it eventually backfires, for no one wants to be fixed, as it implies we are somehow broken.

We may be missing something, and need realigning, but we are not broken in any truly Essential way.

Deep inside of each of us is a primal wholeness that can never be destroyed. This is the True Essence of every soul. Within us is a continuity that always remains unbroken.

Compassion does not come with distancing ourselves from suffering, but requires opening ever more spaciously to whatever is occurring.

We can learn to consciously shine our awareness into our suffering, so that we can see it “up close and personal.”

If we are to restore and renew our souls we must work compassionately in these neglected and dark places within. We must find where the illusions and fantasies live and how they operate. We need to get very close to our fantasies (delusions) to discover these habitual ways of seeing and acting.

So we meet our fears, the dark places within, rather than running away from them. We look closely into those embarrassing places, where shame and condemnation live.

We open to our sorrow and grief.

“We are healed from suffering only by experiencing it to the full.” Marcel Proust

When we distance ourselves from suffering, through harsh judgments or finding ways to numb ourselves, we stay stuck.

My choice is to work with all my feelings, thoughts and emotions through journaling, contemplation, good therapy, etc, so that I experience the sadness and grief.

For each disappointment I ask myself what I think should have happened. As I explore these questions I discover my fantasy, my illusions.

As Dr. Scott Peck said, “Each disillusionment brings you one step closer to the truth, for you have dropped an illusion.”

Through this process I hold this hurt little child (that still lives inside me) in my imagination and connect with her. I experience that dear little soul who is living with this pain. I listen to her and remind her that I’m here. She doesn’t suffer alone. She has someone cares.

It’s amazing what happens when we are compassionate! The results may not be immediate, but they grow within us as we persevere.

The hardest times to do this holy work is when I’m feeling ashamed and full of despair. But I call on the “good parent,” the caring, compassionate person within me, and give love no matter how I feel.

Is this hard? Of course! That’s why it’s called the hero’s journey.

Were we meant for it? Of course. This is our destiny.

Being human means being born without an instruction manual. By necessity we blindly grope our way through life.

Yet it isn’t total blindness. We are directed by grace. Directed groping is a phrase from Father Teilhard de Chardin.

It is grace that leads us, show us the way. It is grace that breathes us. Thus we really aren’t alone, isolated, or helpless.

All we need do is change our perspective; surrender our grandiosity for humility, and allow ourselves to let go any idea that we can do this alone. Or that we can lead.

We must follow the unseen (but very Real) and be guided through the murky, unclear waters of our journey.

Suffering is not personal. Everyone suffers, and all suffering can be transformed into bliss!

Here are some helpful steps I have found to meet anxiety and disappointment:

1. Place your hand on your heart, releasing oxytocin and opening the heart, and say the following words with as much feeling as possible:

“This is a moment of suffering.” (You are attending to your feeling and emotions; an act of compassion.)

“Suffering is a part of life. It has come to help us accept all of life, to bring forth wholeness.

2. Then speak words such as the following:

“I am being opened up to something new and beautiful through this process.”

“May I hold my suffering with kindness and compassion.”

“May I allow life to be the way it is right now. It will change.”

Allow is the root derivation for the word suffer in my Webster’s dictionary. When we allow, (truly accept life the way it is right now) suffering will cease.

And when we remember that no one needs fixing — all we need is more awareness of What Is at this moment, and that grace helps us through each experience, we will find new meaning and greater happiness!

Rev. Billie

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HURRY IS A CON GAME

1/15/2015

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Many years ago I read these words in a book on recovery from addiction: “Hurry is a con game.”

Hurry is the thought and attitude of not having enough time.

Hurry has little to do with moving quickly, such as when we see that someone needs help, or we are crossing the street while traffic is waiting for us.

Moving quickly can be very appropriate and indeed, even life saving, but the thought of hurry that causes problems for us is the belief that there isn’t enough. We must hurry to get something — to do or become something. These beliefs are rooted in fear and lack.

When we think we don’t have enough time we are really being conned, lied to, for it is not based on truth. Always discernment is needed between facts and truth.

Einstein has proved time is relative, not absolute.

So we must discern what we are holding in mind. The world may tell us there isn’t enough — of anything — but it is up to us whether we buy into these concepts.

Within our mind is the power of creativity, according to our choices.

Hurry is something we do when we want something to happen more quickly, or try to push/force something into completion rather than allowing it to unfold naturally.

Hurry is based on impatience.

It’s like trying to tweak the yin or the yang, giving it little nudges so that it will work more efficiently, more quickly.

Arrogance is the word that comes to my mind when I catch myself hurrying, for how would I really know what needs to happen and when?

So I ask myself what in the present moment is not going fast enough? What needs a push or shove from me? Why can’t I relax into the present moment, just as it is?

“This is the way things are for me, for now.” A wonderful statement that I am incorporating into my life. I use it often, and still haven’t integrated it fully.

When I try to “make things happen” I can see that I’m harming rather than helping.

As Buddhism teaches, making things happen is a form of greed. When the field of energy, the container of our mind, is ripe, the new is born.

When we try to force things to blossom early we only stunt the growth and diminish the beauty and timeliness. Everything has its season, as we are told in Ecclesiastes. This is how creation works.

I am learning to recognize when I’m hurrying so that I can break old unproductive, harmful patterns. But I need to notice something before I am conscious enough to shift into something more helpful so that change can take place.

Stopping, breathing and waiting comes first.

It has been said, “Don’t just do something; stand there!”

When I stop hurrying there is a possibility that I might understand what would really be helpful.

Standing or sitting quietly is an art. Waiting for inspiration is wisdom.

So I examine my thoughts and ask what am I afraid of if my agenda isn’t accomplished? Might someone think I am lazy or uncaring? Might I think this?

My intention is to uncover fear and look it right in the eye. I desire to see the patterns that support fear and worry.

Patterns look different when we get down even with them, rather than observing them from above, from our head.

As I investigate what’s in my heart I become embarrassingly aware of underlying motives.

An example is scheduling more in my day than is possible to accomplish (a form of greed). Why would I want to do more than is humanly possible? To feel better about myself?

When I check in with my body I find hurrying has caused tenseness, tightening of my muscles. Energy gets blocked. That’s not a healthy sign.

As I notice this I stop, take a deep breath, and inquire into the stories I am telling myself. “I must work harder and try to get everything done as quickly as possible.” “No time for pleasure, not until everything gets done.”

What a slave driver I find inside me!

So I purposely slow down and remind myself that hurry is a con job.

There is time to get done what needs to be done by me. I’m not a slave to anything — even time. As time is relative and becomes what I believe. If I believe there is enough, there is.

Through this gradual process I find a sense of freedom, of letting go. I have a choice of how I move. I can move quickly when circumstances warrant it. I can calmly go about doing what needs to be done by me.

Truth never hurries, and everything that takes place is right on time.

“God is the slowest being to ever be right on time.” Anon

Words are so powerful. They come from our views, our attitudes about life, and our thoughts and words flow from our intentions.

We have a choice whether we are going to con ourselves into thinking we have to get more done today than there is time for. Greed is behind the wish for more than 24 hours a day, for we are wanting more than is given to anyone.

What kind of a god would drive you to do more than there is time for? Certainly not a loving God.

Wisely using the 24 hours given to us brings contentment and pleasure.

God is love and love is a decision. Decide to be kind to yourself. Do what is appropriate for you to do. That’s all that’s expected.

Tell yourself that you have plenty of time to do what needs to be done by your soul this day. These are delicious words!

As Mother Teresa has said, “You cannot do great things, but you can do small things with great love.”

And notice if you are hurrying as you read this blog. Or are you recognizing how lavish God’s love is? And you are the recipient!

Love this breath. This moment. And live in gratitude that there is a “table set before us in the presence of our enemies.”

We are being guided into the still waters and our soul is being restored. We live in green pastures.

I invite you to read and meditate upon the 23rd Psalm.

There is time to do this!

Rev. Billie

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KEEPING WHAT IS TRUE BEFORE US

1/10/2015

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In order to meet life wisely, gracefully, we need to have a sense of stability in our lives, something to stand on. Being deeply grounded in something dependable and true is the best recipe for serenity.

What keeps you grounded? What gives you a place to stand when your world seems to be cracking open, when your heart is breaking?

Where do you receive the life giving energy to support you moment by moment through your days and nights?

What is your Source? Where do you place your faith? Is it in the world around you? In other people, and their opinions of you, your status, or in any outer conditions or circumstances? In your body?

Is this where you hope to find security and peace of mind?

If so, trouble lies ahead, for everything in the outer world, all matter, all circumstances are temporary, fleeting, and will not always be there for us.

Outer conditions are continually shifting right before our eyes, and we will suffer if we have placed our faith there.

Or have you found something more reliable, deeper than ordinary, surface-level thinking on which to stand?

Life is filled with such questions and it is important to live our questions, as the poet, Rilke says, so that one day we might grow into the answers.

The truth that I stand on is that there is a great Source flowing through all life that is dependable, inclusive, and that will never leave or forsake anyone or anything. But it isn’t to be found in the outer — for it resides in the inner, invisible essence of Beingness. It can never be taken from us.

It is our faith that takes us into this place of Beingness. This numinous dimension stands alone and is independent of any physical laws or dimensions.

Beingness leaves nothing out, just flows everywhere and gives energy to all it touches, but it’s invisible to our eyes.

Beingness is flowing through you right now.

This subtle, invisible energy has created us (and everything that is) and lives within all creation now. It has not abandoned us, but we may have forsaken our awareness of it, and therin lies our problem.

Our sense of disconnection from our real Being is the cause of our dissatisfaction, our disappointments, our suffering in life.

So how do we keep this connection open and live in the “truth that sets us free,” that we might really enjoy life’s experiences? That means all of them, not just the ones we like or approve of.

As someone has quipped, “The truth will set us free, but first it will make us darn miserable.”

Life is a quest, a great soul journey, and answers reveal themselves according to how we live these great questions.

In light of this, I prefer to delve into that which lies underneath and beyond all that that is passing away — everything physical, mental, including my beliefs.

I deeply desire to connect with the real Truth of what is as best I can, so that I can live in peace and joy. Not what I hope is or will be, but what is at this moment.

I discover I must surrender into this place. I can’t think my way into it. It’s a way of letting go my opinions about what should or should not occur.

It’s a path of equanimity — of allowing a spacious state of mind which leaves nothing out and gives everything equal consideration without rising up to take sides.

Equanimity is the pause before we judge, and requires patience.

Equanimity quiets my mind so that I can see where my beliefs pull me off center, to one side or another.

When I polarize I lose lasting satisfaction and peace, for I have given into the urge to “make things right” rather than do the skillful thing, which is observing from a place of detachment, and then allow the voice of Spirit direct my actions.

Here is my choice point. Will I sit by and watch, observe my thought processes, pay attention to what is taking place in my body, beginning with the breath, and await the “truth” to be revealed?

Or will I leap into the fray and try to fix something, or just vent my frustration, or have some sort of a temper tantrum?

What is my deepest truth? What will I ultimately rely on?

In order to remember that which I value I have written my “truths.” Here are some I have found helpful:

“Mind is the beginning of everything.”

“I am a spiritual being having a human experience.”

“Everything will work out the way it needs to. Trust Love."

“Time and Patience are my allies.”

“Proceed as way opens.”

“As I give, I receive.”

“Generosity is my spiritual practice.”

“This is the way it is for me, for now. It will change.”

“Nothing Happens Next. Everything happens in the present moment.”

As I reflect on each “truth” I do my best to experience them deeply so that they become a part of my very bones and sinews.

What are some of your truths? That which you value?

I invite you to take time to write them down if you haven’t already done so.

As we keep what is true before us we have something to take us through the unknown and unexpected experiences that each day brings.

Written words contain great power and can help when the ground beneath us is shaking. They cause new ideas to percolate, helping our hearts to transform our world.

Our truths are our compass, our True North.

“A sailor can’t see true north, but knows the compass can.”
Emily Dickenson

Where is your compass pointing? Pay attention. Make sure you want to go there.

For you create your world through your words, attitudes and beliefs.

They are your “truth.”

Rev. Billie

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Our Authentic Self

1/4/2015

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What is our life’s work? Some Jungian analysts say that our purpose this lifetime may be working out one major soul issue. This may be our great opus, the very thing we are here to accomplish.

Has there been one dominant issue in your life that keeps coming back in one form or another? Something that shows up to plague you no matter what else you accomplish?

And you wonder why it won’t it go away. What more could you possibly do that you haven’t already done?

I have noticed that no matter how many things seem to go right for me, there is always something that weighs me down. No matter what I have accomplished, I can’t seem to crack this nut.

What keeps coming up is that at rock bottom I feel I’m just not enough.

It’s like a plague that wears me down. Yet I also know this is not the Real Truth of my Being. So I keep searching.

Recently I’ve come across a book — oh yes, another one! — Pregnant Darkness by Monika Wikman. In it she describes an ancient process of alchemy that takes us into the darkness so that we might reconnect with our authentic life energy and experience the awesomeness of our Real Essence — our authentic Self.

Life is about expressing our Real Self, not the ego self that believes it is separate and totally distinct from others.

The Real Self doesn’t care a whit about what the ego likes or dislikes. No, our soul goes for authenticity and won’t settle for anything less.

It doesn’t care that we are not comfortable entering the dark parts of our nature. It just keeps plaguing us with whatever it takes to get us into it, for in the darkness we find our gifts!

If we won’t go into this darkness voluntarily, then we go involuntarily through a crisis of some sort.

Crisis come in many forms: illness, loss of our loved ones, our position, depression, economic downturns, betrayals, etc.

Crisis leads us into the darkness.

Or we can enter this void voluntarily, by becoming aware of, and meeting our fear, anger, shame, resentment, sadness, restlessness, etc. without waiting for a crisis.

By embracing them we find our freedom. It is necessary work. But we have to go where these feelings and attitudes reside, in the dark and unconscious parts of ourselves.

When we are willing to work with these wounded places we find new ways of relating, and through this process we begin expressing more of our authenticity.

And as we sit with our mysteries, we find restoration and rejuvenation, for the darkness is pregnant with new ways of understanding and being. Life becomes happier and we sing and dance more.

Who would have guessed?

How often we try to think our way out of these difficulties, but that is impossible.

As Einstein said, a problem cannot be solved at the same level at which it was created. This darkness that is so pregnant with new beginnings is greater than the intellect.

It’s a field of numinous energy. It is dark and mysterious.

One mystic called it The Cloud of Unknowing.

Whatever we call it, it’s something we just can’t quite get a handle on. It won’t be owned or dominated by anything. This pure energy moves all creation, creating something more wonderful with each whirl. Only sometimes the chaos in those whirls seem overwhelming.

As we allow ourselves to sit in what seems like a void, an emptiness, something mystical and amazing takes place. New wisdom, understanding and peace emerge.

This wisdom is here for you, and for me. It’s here for anyone who will descend into the unknown (the darkness) and surrender to it.

“What the Soul calls spiritual growth, the ego calls one insult after another,” said a wise sage.

For me, I find my tears take me into it. As I cry and write in my journal I find those disturbing personalities and beliefs that I really didn’t want to encounter, but need to.

My ego really hates this work!

Today I found a large monster-like being who has been dictating terms to me all my life. He is an uncanny sort that works undercover, demanding that I follow however it directs. Embarrassingly I admit I have blindly followed these unconscious, but oh, so powerful impulses way too often because I don’t see him standing there, giving the orders.

It seemed easier to just follow all these “should.” It seemed necessary. So I didn’t stop and look to see who or what was giving these orders.

Thus I have damaged relationships and hurt others, to say nothing of myself.

Today I began a new dialogue with this “dictator.” We tossed words back and forth and neither of us won. But I was able to see him more clearly.

For years I have pushed this dark force back down by doing the best I could to pick up the broken pieces and get on with life, but today I realize I just need to work with him.

He’s not going anywhere. This bully will continue giving orders in the darker regions of my mind, working underground and sabotaging me, or I can invite him into my awareness and keep the dialogue going.

There is truth to this statement, “Keep your enemies where you can see them.”

Surprisingly, I have discovered that his intention was to protect me!

And growing up I certainly need it as I had plenty of people who tried to run right over me. Living in a household with nine older, stronger, loud, and often angry adults wasn’t easy. “He” probably saved me as I needed the strength of this “dark monster” to survive.

As I grew older he became like the incredible hulk, showing up when I didn’t get my way. Which wasn’t easy on those around me. For that I am very sorry.

Forgiveness work also continues within me.

So for now, I’ll keep up this dialogue and see what emerges. I already sense more freedom!

“Entering the darkness, we find a great light.”

We are a many splendored thing and rich gifts await us.

Life moves forward, not backward, and will truly surprise us.

Rev. Billie

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