Blog Archives - Evolving Spirit Ministries

Living in Free Fall

3/29/2013

Alan Watts has said, “From the moment you are born, you’re in free fall, and grasping at the other things that are falling along with you is not going to help.”

What an unsettling thought that is. It goes against our delusions about people and things that seem “solid, reliable, always here for us.” This is not an easy concept to accept.

Quantum physics shows us that nothing is solid. All matter is really mind —that one great universal mind, the One Mind, in which we all live.

Max Planck, Nobel prize-winning physicist, has said that a conscious and intelligent mind is the matrix for all matter. He goes on to say that matter, as such, does not exist. (quoted in The Isaiah Effect, by Gregg Braden, pg 109)

The great mind of God — universal energy — is not solid, but is the Source out of which everything takes form. And it’s always present - everywhere. But it is invisible and intangible. Certainly nothing we can hang onto.

Nothing is solid, and that is precisely what gives us our freedom.

We are free in this One Great Mind. It’s free because it is not fixed in space and time.

Our freedom comes in our choices. We are free this day to reflect on our choices about our beliefs.

We are not free to control people or things, but we are free to look beneath our actions, our thoughts and discover what motivates us.

What really motivates our every thought? Is it fear or is it love? From whence do these thoughts and actions stem?

As we discover our selfish motives and become willing to accept that this has been part of our conditioning, and then compassionately relinquish those old beliefs, we learn to surrender. For this conditioning is not who we really are.

Our freedom comes as we recognize just what we have been trying to hang onto, and what the underlying limited belief is. This awareness is our freedom.

It does not serve us to try hang onto anything. We need nothing that we do not have. We can let go! It’s not easy to do this, but it’s possible!

Learning to stand on “nothing” and discover that somehow this seeming nothingness holds us up, this is our freedom. For this “nothing” is really everything. It’s God!

What we really are can never be taken from us. It is the very ground of our being. It breathes us and loves us wherever we are.

And we can learn to surrender to this presence and power within us.

It is enough.

Let this be our prayer:

In my surrender to this God Seed that I am, I find that which truly supports me. All that I need is present, right now, in my life. Regardless of appearances, everything is working for good.

This is what I can stand on!

And this is my true prosperity. My sufficiency is already here.

What a miracle!

-Rev. Billie

You can’t be stuck and be moving at the same time...

3/25/2013

Sometimes I go about pitying myself,
While all the time
I am being carried on great winds across the sky.
- Chippewa Indian proverb

Yesterday I was having a few if those “Oh, pitiful me, I’m feeling so stuck” moments, so I slowed down to watch these thoughts and the accompanying emotions move through my mind and body.

I closed my eyes, focused on my breath, and allowed myself to feel all my feelings. Great sadness flowed. Tears came. I continued to observe what my mind was doing. I breathed. I felt the sensations. I watched and I waited.

It was not a pretty sight.

After a few minutes of deep sadness a Chippewa proverb (above) came to my mind and then I became aware of something else.

There was movement going on in my mind.

I was not stuck! You can’t be stuck and be moving at the same time. It’s impossible. Where there is movement, change is possible.

I saw that I had made up a story about the “what isness” of my life. I interpreted myself as stuck because things weren’t going the way I wanted. This was a humbling thought. Oh, that ego, pushing its demands on me again.

Nevertheless I stayed with the process. I allowed myself to be “with” all that was taking place within me. Rather than interpret and make up stories about my life, I became aware of what was really happening within my body.

There was continual movement inside me. This was a huge thing — like I was seeing for the first time.

I wasn’t stuck. The only thing stuck was my interpretation, my story about the situation.

Life was moving. Just like the breath. It always moves. A sense of hope stirred within me. The sun came out again. I felt a burst of love in my heart.

Life really flows. In the midst of this I asked, “But Billie, do you trust this flow? Or do you have to push it and organize it?”

As I listened for answers, I noticed something else. The breath was actually carrying away all my thoughts. One after the other, the breath was moving every thought from me.

I was the only one holding onto these thoughts, or trying to. It was up to me whether to cling — or let them drift away.

“The psyche is always trying to heal itself. Healing is my nature,” my mind spoke.

Relieved, I decided to let the psyche do its job. Flow with it, rather than hold onto my opinions. There is a path to liberation. Will I follow the path?

As I responded affirmatively, a new sense of freedom entered my soul. It was like applying non stick spray to the stickiness of my mind. I suddenly felt lighter, more joyful.

I saw that “stuckness” can be an ally. By working with it, new insight comes.

Whatever life brings us can be used for healing.

Even when we think we are in a hole, or that something horrible is happening, or might happen, no matter how frightening, we can open ourselves to a larger story.

In truth Spirit is always moving me across the great sky of my life.

I’m always in good hands. And so are you! What a journey life is, when we learn to trust Spirit.

~Rev. Billie

There Are No Rules...

3/20/2013

Perhaps the 4 saddest words in the world are:
There Are No Rules

There are no rules??? Well how am I supposed to know what to do and how to act? How am I supposed to know how to be?

My soul screams out, “I want rules!” I’ve always had rules. Rules show me what is right. How a person should act —what my family and my community approves of, and of what they don’t.

My rules are my automatic pilot that guides me. Its messages are all pervasive, so deep within my psyche, that I don’t even hear them anymore. They tell me what my assets and my liabilities are — who I am. And I don’t have to think too much. Just blindly follow.

And besides those rules, I have another dialogue going on inside, telling me what I must do and not do. This is my inner critic — that loveless loudmouth — who is always talking to me — rather yelling at me. Trying to tame me, keep me in line, pretty much the way a lion tamer handles that wild lion using the whip and the chair. His rules really keep my back against the wall. Yes, my life seems to be governed by rules.

That’s why I stay so busy. Gotta run now — this is my story. I don’t want to listen to all that stuff inside my head. It’s too painful.

And yet, it doesn’t go away, even when I run. There comes a time when I have to stop. I’ve run out of fighting energy.

What do you do with a life that doesn’t go away?

And when I reach this place, I listen. I can hear the underlying messages of those “rules” I’ve so blindly followed. Below all those voices, and beneath this front I present to the world, I pretty much feel inferior a lot of the time. I’ve learned the rules of that game — pretense. It’s a game most of us play. Don’t let anyone see our pain. That’s a big rule!

Yes, rules keep me in line so I won’t do anything too stupid. They tell me what I am capable of—and how to live my life. They keep me safe.

There are rules about how to be successful and how to have good relationships. They’ve got books outlining them. There are rules about everything.

So don’t tell me there are no rules!

That’s too scary! What will I follow? How would I ever live without rules?

If there are no rules I want some suggestions at least! I have to have something to follow, or I will be completely lost.

Maybe it is time to give up these games with all the rules that I and others have been living by for centuries. They really aren’t much fun.

Dear God, show me another way.

As I slow down, breathe and begin to deeply ponder these thoughts, I hear a faint voice. I get more still, and just listen. Eventually a very small, still voice speaks:

Just follow me. You don’t have to see. I am your eyes. Take my hand. I’m here for you. Reach out in the darkness. Follow me. You don’t need rules. Any rules you make up aren’t going to work. Just follow me. For I am love.

And I sigh a huge, deep sigh. I say, “Thank you, God. Thank you. I can sense this path you are leading me on is a real adventure. This path has never been walked before, so, of course there are no rules — just the safety of your moment by moment guidance, of your everlasting love, leading me onto the path of authenticity.”

Yes, God’s extraordinary love is enough to follow. In this love there is a freedom that is beyond any rule. There is a depth and a breadth in your soul that is without measure. No one can make a rule about you. You are pure love. God’s love flows through you freely—always becoming something new. Trust love.

In this great love, this intention is always becoming:

May I be safe
May I be happy
May I be healthy
May I be at ease on life’s journey.

Feel the great freedom in these words. Always the Presence is with us, guiding us. This is all I need to remember. It’s enough.

-Rev. Billie

Where is your faith?

3/15/2013

Jesus question, “Where is your faith?” remains a very important question for our journey. Just where did I put my faith, anyway?

Dr. Ira Progoff, Jungian depth psychologist, says we each go through three stages of faith:

1 - Original Faith

2 - Losing that original faith

3 - Finding our real faith.

As young children we all have faith—in something or someone. We learn it just by watching and listening to those around us as we grow up. We absorb other people’s faith. It’s similar to that old adage, “The faith of our fathers.”

It’s not our faith. Faith is something that has to develop within us through our own experiences. Secondhand faith won’t deliver us through life’s difficulties.

We discover this truth at some point in life. Something life threatening occurs and we find we have nothing to stand on. Our original faith is gone.

It might be mid—life crisis, or a dark night of the soul. It’s very difficult—horrible—to discover that there is nothing solid beneath your feet. What you did have has disappeared. It leaves us feeling empty, bereft.

This is all a natural part of our journey.

As Jung says, “We all have to find out what supports us when nothing supports us.”

This dark night is really our calling. I have often thought we have taken on an earth body for this very purpose. We have come to this world to grow, to develop a substantial faith in what is real, to see and hear what cannot be seen or heard or touched with our outer senses. This becomes our faith, which cannot be taken from us.

We gradually learn that even though we can’t see, there is something that takes us through this—that guides us. Dante discovered this as he allowed his mentor, Virgil, to guide him through the dark forest when he had lost his way.

Just as Dante found Paradise, so will we. Paradise is knowing that there is something invisible that always supports us, always moves us through each experience and brings forth a greater joy.

This is faith—faith that carries us through every experience in life! It comes with a great cost, for its value is beyond human reckoning.

Your sure guide is within you. Go into those empty places and wait, listen, hear what comes to you. Time and patience are your allies. Trust them.

You will find your help. Wait, listen, breathe, trust the silence. Out of its depths comes the voice that leads you through the valley of the shadow of death and into the glory of the light.

Yes, “Faith is the substance hoped for, the evidence of that which is not seen.” Hebrews 11.

It’s REAL.

-Rev. Billie

Who wrote this play?

3/11/2013

“Who wrote this play in which we have to laugh, cry and exit according to the script? No god can write it, nor can Buddha. Only your own mind can write it.”

From the Daily Buddhist Wisdom, Jae Woong, “Polishing the Diamond”

How powerful we are. Yet, our present experience is usually, like almost always, filled with the past— old scripts we have in our memory bank.

Who is writing your life story this very instant? What is the drama that is unfolding? What are the feelings you are experiencing right now. Do you feel that you have plenty of time? Is your economical system based on “sufficiency”? Or are you worried about money? About resources?

How much spaciousness is there within you right now?

Who is writing this story? Yes, it is you, my friend!

Notice that breath that is breathing you. That breath is Spirit. Spirit loves and cherishes you and gives you everything you need right now.

Enjoy and notice how much gratitude you can feel. For this is the beginning of your new story.

God has given you free will, which means that God cannot write your script. Only you. Only you. Let that be your love song.

Only you, God. Thank you, God, that you fill my mind.

Life follows scripts, patterns. Energy moves into existing structures. So let the creative writing begin.

Let your imagination soar with beauty and gratitude for this moment. No matter what is happening, there is the possibility of a new beginning.

Thank you, God. Little and often we remember. And it is enough.

-Rev. Billie

Give Spirit Room...

3/7/2013

“I learned true love and prayer in the moment where love has become
impossible and the heart has turned to stone.” Thomas Merton

In these difficult moments of our lives our fate can turn into our destiny. For it is in these most trying times that we have the opportunity to really practice the truths that we profess to believe.

When we are experiencing anxiety of any kind we have a choice. It may seem limited, but our destiny that is always calling us higher only needs a small crack in our armor for it to lead us.

Yes, just a tiny hole—a small space—just enough for a good breath or two can make all the difference. Spirit needs only this to flow through us with great abundance. This is how amazing God is!

The smallest and most difficult moments have the power to fully penetrate, infuse and eventually transform our very souls!

Let us be aware of our overriding anxiety.

Watch for “that old feeling.” Breathe consciously, knowing Spirit is guiding us into something new. Give Spirit room. Risk letting go! And give thanks!

These little moments arrive often enough. They are choice points. We can risk letting the unknown be unknown—and wait for Spirit to reveal what is ours to do.

Can we wait on God? Do we trust Spirit?

Are we dedicated to learning love? Or will we unconsciously follow our “taught” instincts, old patterns, familiar beliefs, the old habits?

My prayer is: God, teach me to love. God, show me how to love in difficult times.

Let me notice the catch in my throat and the stone in my heart. Let me truly feel how much suffering this is causing me. Let me have compassion on myself!

It feels so good to love—soft, flowing, abundant, exciting, exuberant!

And it feels so rotten to feel like stone—numb, hard, rigid, lifeless.

And it’s no easier to feel tied up like a pretzel!

God, show me where you live in my heart—as tenderness and forgiveness. Let me feel your Presence, holding me gently in your loving arms.

Thank you, God, for always loving me, even when I forget.

Rev. Billie

Time and Patience

3/6/2013

In War and Peace, Tolstoy speaks of Russian’s great leader, General Kutuzof, who defeated Napoleon in the early 1800s. The pressure was great for him to move upon the French army, but he would not succumb.

Instead General Kutuzof used his two great warriors:
“Time” and “Patience.”

The conflicts we find ourselves engaged may similarly be very demanding to us. Will we succumb to the pressure of others, or to our old habits? Or will we also claim those two great spiritual warriors: Time and Patience. They are ours to claim.

I have called on them countlessly over the years—time and patience.

Rather than feel overwhelmed by all that we must do to meet our lives, or to directly attack the issues, we can use time and patience. Yes, breathe. Stop. Go to God first and to people as God directs. Be patient.

How often does our agenda driven ego want to force the issue, when what we really need is to be patient and give ourselves the time necessary to grow into the answers.

When I find myself in that “rush” mode, I can take wise action.

1st step: Breathe - take several conscious breaths. Notice how stirred up I am inside. Declare to myself that there is time in which all needed things will get done. Maybe not all that the ego wants done, but all that is truly necessary for soul work, which is my purpose here. Time, yes time.

2nd step: Be patient with myself and with others, and with time itself. It takes as long as it takes. Evolution is a slow process. But we can count on 14 billion years of grace. The universe knows what it is doing, and apparently knows how, too, for we continually evolve. The world continues to turn.

Time and patience.

I use this slogan in my meditation process too.

Time and patience. Breathe. It feels so good. Let’s have peace, not war.

Rev. Billie

Little and Often

3/1/2013

These words, little and often, come from a story I read about the great scientist, Louis Pasteur, as he was dying with his students gathered around him. One anxiously asked, “Mr. Pasteur, can you give us some last bit of advice, so that we may continue your very important work. Please give us your best advice!”

He answered, “Little and often.”

I heard that story at least twenty years ago and these words have become a touch stone in my life.

It isn’t spending an enormous amount of time on something, and then ignoring it for a long period, that produces results. Rather it is the many, small but frequent minutes that we give to something important to us that brings the break throughs, the transformations. Little and often.

Ancient Chinese lore asks which is stronger, rock or water?

The answer is water. This is counterintuitive. But imagine a barrel of water being sloshed over a large rock. You can readily see that it does little to alter the rock.

But if that barrelful of water were to slowly drip onto the rock, one drop at a time, until the barrel was empty, it would most likely make a dent in that rock. It would have an impact.

Yes, little and often.

What will help cleanse the old destructive patterns that cause suffering in our souls? Remembering who we are, perhaps just a little bit, but oh, so often!

“Yes, I am God’s beloved.’ Bring these words into your heart. Often— throughout the day and night. No matter how dry and unloved you might be feeling,

Remember that the Word of God made all that was made. And that includes you! And God loved all He saw and called it good and very good. Yes, that’s you!

Remember that “matter is Spirit, slowed down enough to see.” (Teilhard de Chardin) All matter has at is essence Spirit—universal energy of love—the one energy that gives birth to all that is.

Remember that love created you. What God made cannot be destroyed or lost. And you are IT. You are God’s Beloved.

Choose to think about this, little and often!

Over time you will be greatly affected by the cleansing waters of spirit.

Rev. Billie