Blog Archives

RESIST OR ALLOW?

7/30/2014

Resistance causes suffering.

What we resist persists.

Since we have refused to meet it, it comes back around to give us another chance. It says something like this: “Take your time, I’ll be here for you, because I have a great gift that will bless you.”

What we refuse to embrace simply goes underground and waits for another time to present itself. And the timing might not be nearly as convenient. It might be best to meet it now.

When we allow things to be the way they are, breathing deeply, accepting what is, resistance drops away. Then, and only then, can something new unfold.

I laugh at the word allow, because the universe doesn’t ask us to sign off on what takes place. You’ve undoubtedly noticed that things happen without your consent.

Sometimes I wish God would check with me before happenings — to get my permission — but no, that’s not the way of life.

So, I’m left with this choice: will I resist — or will I allow what is happening?

Allowing occurs deep within us as we agree not to disagree with what is. It opens up channels so that flow occurs. Then things can pass away and become something else, something more beneficial.

All life aims toward healing. Our minds and bodies are always attempting to heal. Every time we as much as cut a finger, the body rushes in to heal the hurt.

As the Tao says: Everything that flows is healthy.

So am I going to flow with, or resist? My resistance doesn’t keep stuff from happening. So I may as well examine, inquire into, what this resistance is about.

My experience is that the more I can entrust everything into the care of the Great Unknown? (Which is another name for God), the happier and serene I am.

I can suffer or I can allow.

In my edition of Webster’s Dictionary, one of the definitions of the word suffer is “allow, permit, tolerate.”

Am I willing to allow, permit what has or is occurring to take place?

Will I breathe through this situation, and bear it?

How will I hold it in my heart? Am I giving it permission to be?

Or will I continue to resist by stamping my feet inwardly and screaming “No” at the universe?

What will be helpful?

If God allows them, who am I not to?

By allowing, we are not submitting to this thing, whatever it is, to be here forever. For things are always changing.

However, our resistance keeps them in place much longer, for they keep coming back until we receive the lesson that is within them.

So when I desire to be truly helpful I tell myself, “This is the way things are, for me. For now.”

Whatever things may be right now, they are capable of becoming something very different — as universal energy always aims toward healing, toward wholeness.

Allowing everything, expecting nothing specific, becomes a wise way to live.

God leaves no one and nothing out. As Jesus says, “The rain falls on the just and the unjust.”

Things are not personal, but am I taking them that way?

So I continue to open my heart ever wider, doing my best to include everyone and everything — even my hurt feelings — for it is all allowed by God.

Just breathe and include!

Life asks me to dig ever deeper into my motives, beliefs and intentions.

My hardest work is to admit when I am hurt or angry at someone and want to exclude them (or me) from my good will.

Noticing when I am defensive, angry, or frightened helps me to recognize that something new needs to flow. And it starts with me.

What is my desire? I have found the following practice (which the Buddha taught to his followers) is very helpful. In fact, I can’t imagine life without it.

Four helpful phrases can shift us into the space of lovingkindness where we include others into our hearts:

May you, (name of person), feel loved.

May you be happy and contented.

May you be strong and make wise decisions.

May you be at ease on your journey.

I often envision those with whom I share lovingkindness surrounded by their angels which are busy bringing them joy and happiness.

Life is process. Things take as long as they take, and they are always progressing into something else, something higher. This is evolution.

Can I be patient and wait for Spirit to work?

Let me recognize that the Great Spirit of the universe knows how to become, and that my resistance just jams up the flow.

Let me trust this Spirit, because, whether I understand it or not, all things are working for good (as St. Paul declared in Romans Ch. 8).

So, let things be as they are. And know that it’s all in the process of change.

Whatever state things are in right now, they can become something else. All life needs is your love, your willingness to accept what is.

Thank you, God, that Spirit is always becoming matter, and that matter is Spirit.

Rev. Billie

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THE DANGER OF CERTAINTY

7/24/2014

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History shows that the most horrific events of the past have been done by those who held no doubts as to the rightness of their actions.

Being absolutely sure they were on solid ground, they refused to admit or even look at the possibility that they might be wrong.

Some even claim God told them to do it.

Applying this to my own life, and reviewing my past, I see that the when I have been certain that I must do something, I was on dangerous ground. The results were not pleasant. I did not pause long enough to consider my options. Therefore I caused harm with my opinions.

So now when I feel certain, so sure of something, I ask the following questions:

Is this true? If so, how can I prove it?

How much do I want to defend my position? And why

Things are usually not what they seem and are so easily misunderstood. Others’ motives as well as our own.

Certainty is dangerous. Holding space for alternative options can be the most loving course.

Love is always open to choice. The very energy of love gives us unlimited choice, and within choice there is also uncertainty.

When we come to a decision, how certain can we be that it is the right one?

With so many uncertainties and subtleties in life, how can we ever be completely sure that our interpretation of a situation is correct?

And how can we be certain of what needs to be done?

We can’t. But how often do we face this fact, admit it, and accept it?

For instance, it has been very painful when someone has informed me what I meant by my words. They were very certain of my intent.

How did they know? Of course they didn’t. But their strong position hurt our relationship.

Instead of telling, we need to ask more questions and allow others to present their own views, allow life to teach us.

And we need to listen — really listen.

We find happiness by allowing life to show us what needs to be done.

How often I can get hijacked by my ego which has a decidedly slanted view on things.

For instance, I often have this judgment about myself — I feel sure that I am inept at …….. (whatever comes to mind) and thus conclude that I am inferior.

My sureness causes unhappiness. The more sure I am about my opinions and judgments, the more harm I will cause — to myself and then to others.

Certainty is dangerous.

Not only do I cause myself emotional damage, but I also am causing the very energy of the universe to bring more of this into manifestation.

Life is my mirror. My thoughts, words, beliefs and actions have consequences. What I put out into the universe comes back to me, because I really, deeply believed it.

Therefore I need to question the validity of my opinions by asking deeper questions.

“What is taking place here?” “What is really going on?”

“And what do I need to do?”

I then become a listener rather than a teller.

When I listen to my fears I find a stubborn, strong minded and very sad child who doesn’t feel loved, and thinks she must forge her own world.

So how do I respond?

There’s one thing I can be fairly certain about. She needs love. I don’t need to figure out how deserving she is — just hold her and listen to her.

As I do this, we have shared suffering. When we share the pain of loneliness is relieved.

Then I tell her that there is a path out of suffering.

By reminding her that she is created by God and has a purpose, she is comforted.

When there is comfort, the strength and courage to move forward is felt.

And I become less certain about that deficiency part. Who am I to judge? How would I really know my real virtues and qualities, or anyone’s, in the larger scheme of life?

When we give up our certainty about what is true, what is right, what is wrong, what is good and what is bad, and just surrender to God love, we find relief!

This requires a nimbleness of spirit, the ability to move about and live in more than one possibility.

Modern science shows us there are no boundaries at the depths — only at the surface of things.

So, we just go deeper where everything merges into the one, and let go into it. Swim in the oneness! All it takes is our imagination!

By placing our certainty of what is true into the category of “I’m not sure,” we have come a long way towards living without harming.

Rather than stomping our way through life with our positive attitudes, we have begun to inquire what needs to be done by each of us.

And we’re a lot more fun to be around. Don’t you dread being with someone who is so certain they’re right?

I have found a practice of daily meditation very helpful in assisting me to go deeper into the doubts and certainties I hold.

When I am facing a tough choice I take time to reflect in my journal.

Sometimes I list each possible choice, and then mentally walk down each path, writing out possible outcomes.

By seeing the consequences I save myself from many pitfalls.

Had I not slowed down and considered future outcomes, I would have caused even more harm.

The truth will set us free. But first we must swim through the through the murky waters of doubt and uncertainty.

Then pray like heck and ask for the grace of God.

For God’s grace is the only certainty there is. Something always is here for us, as we surrender into it.

And it’s an open field of wonder and amazement. It’s love.

Rev. Billie

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GROWING BY SUBTRACTION

7/19/2014

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Often we think happiness and fulfillment come by accumulation, or acquiring through some method, some of which are legal and ethical, and others not.

The Western world view pretty much revolves around measuring success by how much one can get or achieve.

The paradox is that true joy and contentment is gained by subtraction — not by addition.

Yes, material things and worldly status can be obtained through acquisition in some form or another, but when have these brought lasting happiness?

Worldly things are temporary and will always leave us, or we will leave them which often brings great suffering — until we learn that less is more.

Status in the world is a fleeting passing thing. It comes and goes so quickly.

Jesus stated so profoundly that it was in losing our life that we find it.

That boggles the mind. What a paradox.

The intellect recoils from such a ridiculous notion. When you give something up you have even more? No way!

But in truth it is in letting go of whatever is dear to us, everything that has a physical basis, that opens us to real living.

When we can stop hanging onto something, trying to prolong its presence and almost begging it not to leave us, that life begins.

Begging for more — more love, more money, more respect, more comfort, more peace — really sucks.

There is no freedom here.

When we can stop looking at our losses as tragic, and begin searching for the gifts that are still here, we will find the real treasures of life, serenity and trust in that which is higher and wiser.

Then we live!

Teilhard de Chardin, a renowned scientist of the Twentieth Century, proves in his great treatise The Phenomenon of Man, that consciousness has evolved by converting loss into gain.

Throughout the eons of evolution every time something was lost in the outer, life transformed it into greater interiority — into more consciousness.

Teihard shows us that the very process of evolution itself converts all loss into a deeper and more profound consciousness which gives life the ability to proceed in more skillful and wholesome ways.

Since humankind is a part of the very essence of evolution, we can apply this to our losses.

When we lose, there is a great potential for a deepening and richer interiority. We only need to open to this possibility.

In actuality we lose ourselves to find ourselves. We lose our present self to experience our future self, which is a greater authenticity.

We find out what is truly meaningful through that which leaves us, and these new values enriches us.

Of course this is easy to talk about in theory. It is the practice of relating to loss (yes, all our personal losses) in a new way, a more nourishing way, that brings us this freedom.

I do my best to remember whatever I’m losing in the outer will bring me something more beautiful. I open to that thought and integrate it in the very small losses throughout my day.

And when I forget, I breathe deeply, and tell myself this is a great truth. That calms me and restores some pleasure in my day or night.

All loss eventually becomes gain. Each of us grows spiritually by letting go.

In my life I have found that my greatest comfort comes from the awareness that I need nothing that is not, at some level, already within me.

I have found this to be true irrespective of what has vanished from my life. If it has been present so far, it seems reasonable to not doubt that it will be so in the future.

As I steadfastly stand in this truth whatever my soul needs seems to come to me. Especially I realize this as I really look around me. What more do I need right this instant?

I continue to ask myself if these are wants or needs.

God fulfills needs, our true needs, so that our souls thrive.

The word want has a root meaning of lack. Wanting is a belief in lack.

I enjoy contemplating this knowledge: what leaves me in the outer at any moment heralds new life, and a new way of experiencing life.

I don’t need to accumulate another thing, or have another person added to my life in order to feel content.

The universe supplies what I need as I give more trust to the universe.

As I let go my stranglehold on what I think needs to happen, space opens for things to work out the way that is highest, the way they need to.

I also let go of the thought that I know what needs to happen.

Proceed as way opens. Take the steps that open. Trust, let go and have fun. It’s a lot more fun not to be responsible for running the show, but to trust in a higher power.

Then we have time for dancing, singing and letting people know how much we love them!

Every loss becomes gain. We grow spiritually by letting go, releasing all that has been, and stepping into the openness of the present moment.

Everything that is taken from us can bring much joy when we learn to let go, surrender to the power of Truth and simply be the presence of love.

Doesn’t this make life simpler?

Rev. Billie

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BEWARE OF THE UNLOVED

7/11/2014

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“Beware of the unloved” Jim Carrey said at a graduation address in 2014.

He went on to remark that the unloved are dangerous.

Yes, the unloved cause violence.

Anyone feeling unloved experiences a sense of hurt or anger which causes them to isolate, alienating them from others.

When one doesn’t feel part of the whole, their actions are definitely not focused on what would be best for everyone.

Instead they become narcissistic, thinking mostly of themselves, and acting accordingly.

Not receiving the love they need, they believe in lack.

Believing in lack, people do whatever it takes to get their needs met.

The focus is then on getting, which requires some form of grabbing, lying, begging, cheating, stealing or force.

This is dangerous behavior that hurts us all.

So where does healing begin?

We can’t change others. We can only start with ourselves.

We inquire within. Where do we feel angry, hurt, disconnected or alienated? And with whom?

The true nature of the universe is connectedness, as it is one whole and cannot be divided. Quantum physics has shown us this amazing web we all live in.

Because of this Oneness, every action affects others.

There are no purely neutral thoughts or actions.

Wherever we feel hurt, disconnected or angry is a dangerous place — to ourselves and others. Some form of violence will be done, be it subtle, eroding one’s own confidence, or making the evening news.

So what is the nature of this stuff that connects everything and everyone?

According to the renowned scientist, paleontologist, Father Teilhard de Chardin, it is the very nature of the deepest connecting force of the universe. He named it love, the single energy of the universe.

I believe we are all enveloped in the very energy of love. We swim in it. We breathe in it. When we are willing to trust it we can give ourselves to it and always receive back just what we need.

As we give, we receive, just as Jesus told us in such profound words. Giving reconnects us with the All.

Thinking only of the me, and not the we, we don’t give to others. We grab, trying to find happiness. It is very short lived, if we find any at all. And it will end up with more feelings of isolation and despair.

So coming from a place of me, rather than we, we cannot help but act in ways that hurt.

Thinking we are alone is a form of delusion. The we is real. The me is more like a fictional character, useful only for the story line, for a place to initiate action.

As Jesus has said, “Alone I can do nothing.” (That is, nothing that will bring forth peace, contentment and joy.)

We heal from the sense of feeling unloved by being aware of our suffering, the ways we are hurting, and making a commitment to find a way to love ourselves.

These dreadful feelings within us are like a little child who longs — yearns for — attention. For someone to touch him or her with gentle hands, and with soft and caring words.

We are that someone.

We are always with ourselves, unconsciously, or consciously.

One cannot ever be separated from himself/herself, from one’s thoughts and feelings.

Since this is a truth we may as well pay attention to that which we cannot get away from — ourselves!

We can listen to ourselves, to the conversations that go on inside our heads. We can observe what our five senses are doing.

It takes time. It requires patience. But it’s the beginning of healing.

It takes time to undo what violence has done — to clean up the mess.

So, how will we spend our time? Putting out fires, or creating a life of harmony and peace?

I invite you to take this time for yourself and notice how you are feeling and what you are thinking, or saying.

When you find sadness or anger stop and love, really love that child within that feels abandoned. (If you can’t do it at that moment, make a note to do it later. And keep your appointment with your child. Don’t let him or her down.)

Speak to this child. Mentally hold her or him. Softly tell this child how much you care that there is pain and suffering in his/her life. But in spite of this, you are there with him/her.

Your love now touches this precious little being who has been yearning for it.

Your caring makes all the difference.

This is not an overnight cure.

As you tenderly give your love there is no violence, for the energy of love cannot hurt.

The choice is always within us. Will we love or will we turn away and continue to pretend that we are alone, isolated, cut-off, believing the delusion of separateness?

Love heals, harmonizes, inspires and brings together that which has been set adrift.

Love flows through our very breath. It’s never far from us. It’s closer than breathing.

Rev. Billie

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AND THIS, TOO.

7/6/2014

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There is a phrase I use when troubling events occur.

It is: “And this too.”

Even though what seems to be taking place may be the last thing I want to happen, I have made the decision to stay open to life as it comes.

I have learned that I can choose to trust life, even when it seems like a tragic event. Something will happen that eventually turns into just the right thing.

So I speak the words, “And this too,” and take several deep breaths.

Breathing deeply I allow my feelings and thoughts to come to mind while I continue repeating, the phrase “And this too.”

Breathing consciously allows my soul to expand and become more spacious. It’s easier then to accept and integrate whatever is happening.

Acceptance doesn’t mean that I don’t care or that something can’t be done. In fact, acceptance creates space for further action.

I find when I am troubled that I have a habit of contracting, of closing down.

When I do this I am not trusting the flow of the universe that knows how to become. Being out of sync with the flow is a rocky and uncomfortable state.

So right here is my growing edge. It’s in this place of discomfort.

Upon examination of my thoughts I find there is something I don’t want to include in my life. It is an outcome I want to avoid.

This indicates fear. Fear is a deep sense of needing to control.

What we don’t trust we must try to control.

I have a choice. Am I going to trust the universal energy of love in which I live, or not?

If I truly believe God to be the single energy of love which draws everything forward I don’t experience fear.

So when I discover this tightening up inside me I know I need to learn something. I choose to allow my fears to inform me by turning towards them.

What are those underlying thoughts and beliefs?

An example of a current troubling event is that my trusted computer of eight years has died. It bit the dust.

I have a habit of feeling intimidated by the technological world.

And here I am, sitting at a new computer where nothing feels the same or looks quite familiar. I notice I am hunching my shoulders and my muscles feel tight.

I find I am worrying that I won’t locate my old programs and documents. I won’t be able to answer my email.

Here is where I interrupt the cycle. I take this opportunity to breathe deeply and say, “And this, too.”

I notice relief. My shoulders drop and muscles relax.

For several days this has been my practice. Each time I even think of the new computer I say “And this, too.”

What I notice is that a spaciousness has opened within me; there is breathing room. An idea pops into my mind and I think, “Oh, I can do this.” Or “I need help with this.” Then I decide who I can call for help.

Feeling more relaxed I can learn something new! This builds confidence that I am growing in the ability to handle life as it comes.

Also I have taken steps to meet my fear through the simple practice of saying, “And this, too” and following it by inner reflection.

I invite you to try this process. It may take weeks and months to notice a difference, depending on how much avoidance of fear and discomfort there has been.

But it is a practice that helps us meet our everyday lives.

One thing leads to another, and we find we move through the experience with more grace and well being.

By practicing on the small issues we learn to handle the larger events. Nothing is too small and soon nothing will be too large.

“And this, too” is a way of allowing and including what is taking place right now. We rediscover that it’s the grace of God that always draws us forward and opens new paths.

No matter what has been, something new and even greater is in process.

It’s all a matter of timing, patience and waiting on God.

And this, too.

Rev. Billie

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THE STUBBORN BUFFALO

7/1/2014

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It was well known in times past that when a buffalo needed medicine they had to tie down all four of his legs securely before they could give him the healing balm. If he had even one leg free he would wiggle out, refusing the medicine.

That’s how stubborn the buffalo was. If he had the tiniest bit of wiggle room he ran.

I can relate to that kind of stubborn! If I have as much as one finger of maneuverability left I can refuse to see the truth that would heal.

Instead I try to defend myself and rationalize why I have done something. I make excuses and this keeps me in the haze of self righteous thinking.

Then the pattern repeats until I am willing to stop and look at my thoughts and my actions which have set this in motion.

Yes, how often I have refused to listen to the truth that heals. I sometimes wait until my options are nil and I am at a loss as to what to do.

It’s no fun to have all four legs tied down! We suffer.

Perhaps many of us are like the buffalo trying to wiggle away from that which would bring healing.

As the Gospel According to Thomas says, the truth will set us free, but first it will amaze and dumbfound us.

Or paraphrased, the truth will set us free, but first it will make us darned angry.

How often we refuse to listen to what others tell us —or what the mirror of our world shows — what our karma has brought to us.

Oh, the haze of self righteousness. Things are usually not black and white. There is a lot of gray in life.

None of us can see so clearly that we always do the right thing. We do hurt one another at times.

In our distress we might recoil and say, “I did what? No I didn’t!”

Instead I suggest that we might ask ourselves if our actions just might come from some stubbornness and begin to question our motivations.

When there are disappointments with another, or with life, are we willing to lay all our cards on the table and reveal what we are thinking and feeling?

Can we learn to trust each other — or at least the universe — with our feelings?

A journal is a good beginning place in which we can let our doubts and fears arise, inviting them in and giving them as much space as they need, as Rumi speaks of in his wonderful poem, The Guest House.

Can we dare to be healed by the truth of all that is going on inside us? It’s a process. Life can heal us. If we will let it come forth rather than avoiding it by pushing it away.

As we do this things get sorted out by an invisible process within us.

Our souls are capable of this. We have been born for it. It is our destiny to be healed by the invisible powers of divine love.

This is healing medicine.

Can we stop and listen to each other, and not wiggle away when hurt feelings arise? For they will.

Can we hold the hurt in our heart and just listen?

Can we take turns speaking in this manner?

Yes, we can if we are willing.

The truth will heal, but we must commit to stay connected with each other in our hearts and let love’s medicine have its way.

Through the willingness to go through this process we gradually learn to respond in new ways, rather than stubbornly reacting from old patterns and continue going down dead end streets.

Sometimes we need to just stand there and notice when we get our backs up and stubbornly maintain that our view is right.

Change continually is taking place and we need to change also.

Change — everything dying and passing away —can cause us to suffer. When we have become attached to the way things are we will feel angry and forsaken.

When we hang onto our opinions and our belief systems we hurt.

This is a truth that no one can avoid.

Hanging on to the past hurts but how do we let go? That seems worse.

In our hearts let’s join with others in compassion, for we all suffer.

There is a healing balm.

So let’s notice when we feel boxed in with no wiggle room.

Alone we go asunder; together we all evolve into greater life.

Let’s not stubbornly refuse to deeply listen to ourselves and to each other.

Maybe a great medicine is trying to be given to us.

Rev. Billie

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