Blog Archives - Evolving Spirit Ministries

Being a Friend

9/30/2013

A friend is someone who sings your song back to you when you have forgotten it.

How vital it is to hear our own song. When we can hear our own song, we come alive!

Our song won’t be heard through a preachy tone, or with trite words. It will only come through the compassion and deep listening of a caring being.

I remember several times in my life when a friend was able to sing my song back to me. I felt as if life had flowed right back into my soul, for I had completely forgotten the melody until I heard it from another.

I also remember the times I have been able to do this for others. Loving energy flowed between us in a palpable way as we both heard the universal music of joy. It had a divine quality.

How beautiful it is to be a friend!

We can all be a friend —to someone. And especially to ourselves.

What it takes is the courage and willingness to be vulnerable — to feel the pain of deep hurt and despair without running away or making it into a big drama which we then talk about to anyone who will listen.

If we don’t feel and sit with our own inner wounds, how can we be there for another in their times of sadness and anguish?

Leo Buscalia once said that we can keep our sanity if we have at least one other person with whom to confide our deepest insecurities and fears.

Yes, we need only one other person —to be really heard by just one other person.

Becoming a friend is something we all can do.

It starts with ourselves — becoming our own best friend.

If we don’t trust our own inner being, who else can we trust?

We allow ourselves time and space in which we can access our own feelings and begin sensing all that is going on within — our fears and concerns.

We then become patient and sit with whatever is taking place in our own hearts. This is true compassion, bearing all that we feel and experience.

As we listen deeply to ourselves we will gradually begin to hear our own song singing us. It stirs our very cells into new life.

This takes as long as it takes. Time and patience are our two spiritual warriors. Let’s use them.

Find that place where you and God can talk. Be it a long walk, a time of quiet reflection or inspirational reading. But do keep listening for your song.

You’ll know the melody when you hear it. It’s closer than your hands and feet. It’s the song of Spirit rising through you and healing you. It’s God’s unconditional love — for you!

Perhaps you could write down any inspirational words or thought that you hear. Tuck this away somewhere safe, and read it over when you forget your song.

And the best part is that as you listen for your own music, you will also be able to sing another’s song back to them.

Our music is so similar! It’s God’s melody of love playing deeply within us all, loving us and flowing through us, just as the life force flows through our veins.

You are the song of God. Cherish this melody.

Rev. Billie

Am I Responsible?

9/25/2013

Do you ever worry when those you love aren’t happy?

As a mother of four, grandmother of six, and “caretaker” of all those I know, it can really plague me when people are in distress.

I just want everyone to be happy!

But much as I would like to ease another’s journey, I don’t have that power.

So what is my responsibility?

I try my best to do what I can do. But when I don’t see results, what then? Just wring my hands? Pray harder?

I have found it to be more skillful to pray differently, rather than praying harder.

Instead of praying for some kind of divine interference, my responsibility is to remember the Truth about others.

And the Truth is that every one of us is The Christ — the essence of God. This is our Real nature. We can call this our Buddha nature, or use any other word that equates to the Divine.

As Teilhard de Chardin has said, “We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”

So let’s first remember our spiritual nature, and pray from this.

As I remember this, I can much more easily accept what is. Wherever we are emotionally, or physically can be trusted, because Spirit is in charge and where we presently are is according to God’s law — which I don’t understand fully.

Since God is love, God’s law is always the most loving possibility every minute.

Each being must find their own connection to their own Reality, which is always within them.

Two of the statements I use to help me remember my responsibility are from the Buddhist tradition:

1) All beings are owners of their actions, heirs to their actions.  Their happiness or unhappiness depends upon their actions and not upon my wishes.

2) All beings have their own journey (according to their karma).

Accepting the truth in these statements, I regain a sense of the balance of all things, and I sigh in relief.

I realize that we all get to choose our responses, but we don’t get to choose the consequences of those choices. This is karma.

By noticing our consequences each of us can gain wisdom.

So, I offer the above practice to you when you find yourself worrying about someone and wondering what your responsibility is. Here’s how it goes:

First remember that all beings are truly the Christ nature, divine goodness, in physical form. They are made in the image of God.

Then repeat either of the above statements, hold these ideas in your heart, and say them over again, relaxing more with each repetition.

Notice your feelings and your suffering, and remember that God is showing you a path out of all suffering. Give thanks!

Then use statements again, allowing their truth to percolate all the way into your heart.

When I truly respect and honor others, I remember that they are the essence of God and have access to their own wisdom.

Within them is the place where they can ask, seek and knock — and the door will be opened for them.

My responsibility? To give thanks that I can always choose to love. I can give love, and hold others in my heart.

And I can choose to trust the Christ in everyone, to the best of my ability.

The Buddha also taught “Lovingkindness” prayer:

    May you feel safe

    May you be happy

    May you be healthy

    May you be at ease in your life journey

Yes, we do have a responsibility toward each other. It’s called love, honor and respect!

Rev. Billie

Change the World – or Be Changed by It?

9/21/2013

“I’m not here to change the world so much as to be changed by it.”

These words from a Buddhist sage have given me deep reflection over the past years.

Much New Thought thinking is about setting goals to change our lives and the world. We’ve been taught it’s our job.

But what if there is more at stake than changing our lives and our world?

What if life were here to teach us so that we might be changed?

And what if life were the perfect teacher for this?

At one time I would have answered, “Well that will never do. It’s up to me to change my life.”

In my more mature years I’ve come to a different realization.

In Ch 18 of Jeremiah, the prophet speaks about letting God shape us, rather than our directing the show by trying to get ourselves in shape.

In this parable Jeremiah likens us to a marred or flawed vessel that allows itself to be reshaped by the Great Potter.

Having felt immensely marred and deeply flawed at times this parable speaks to me.

Since I have never been able to get life to be what I thought it should be, I find it more helpful to ask: “What does life want from me?”

My journal helps my unconscious to open through my writing so that inner wisdom can come forth. It was always there, just waiting for the right questions and the space to be heard.

So, when I find myself feeling dissatisfied, disappointed, or annoyed by life, I ask two questions, “What is life trying to show me?” and “What am I afraid of?”

As I let these answers tumble out in their own way upon my pages, it is often surprising what comes forth. This takes time and a few tissues!

Through writing I’ve noticed what I call my inner dictator popping up. This happens when I am very upset because life isn’t giving me what I want. I see myself having a temper tantrum.

Oh, how this child needed a loving Mother!

This brings me to a choice point. Do I want to dictate, and scream at life? Or would I feel better to bring comfort to the walking wounded?

Well, I feel a greater sense of peace when I hold that child and offer my love.

Each time I feel disappointed, betrayed or wounded I now know I need the Great Potter. My body can become the vessel; my heart can open so that the light can get out.

Things work out much better when a dictator isn’t in charge, and life becomes sweet when I find a way to love.

The choice is always before me. Will I humbly trust God to shape and form me? Will I let the love of God flow from me to those that are hurt?

The Great Potter holds all of us in its embrace.

God’s love is trustable, but you have to let love touch you in the wounded places in order to feel and know this.

My love is with you on your journey!

Rev. Billie

Two Distinct Kinds of Happiness

9/17/2013

Our genes seem to know what brings us real happiness and health. Results from a recent study tells us that our genes actually show us what we are really serving — our own personal ego or the Higher Power. They prime us into greater health as we open ourselves to serving something greater than our small sense of self.

According to The Week Magazine, Sept 13, 2013, a research study at University of North Carolina states “…we are genetically engineered to be happiest and healthiest when we spend a lot of time selflessly helping others — and unhealthy when we’re mostly devoted to self-gratification.”

The study asked how the 80 volunteers felt when they received pleasure from a tasty meal or a great shopping trip for themselves, as opposed to the happiness brought about by contributing something to society that gave them a deeper sense of purpose.

After answering these questions….“The researchers then drew the subjects’ blood, and found that the genes of the volunteers whose lives contained lots of pleasure but little meaning were priming cells to express high levels of inflammation — which is linked to cancer, diabetes, and cardiovascular disease — and a weaker anti-viral response to infections.”

The conclusion was that there are two distinct kinds of happiness and “our genes can tell the difference.”

Talk about body wisdom!

Yes, we can continue to monitor our happiness level by asking ourselves significant questions, such as:

What or whom are you here to serve? And how can you best do that?

Our minds do influence matter. Science tells us this, as well as the ancient teachings of spiritual Masters.

We influence reality through our intentions, our attitudes and our actions.

I like to start each day by asking God to reveal to me what I need to know and do, as well as showing me how to cause as little harm as possible.

The Buddha has put right attitude at the top of the 8 fold path.

According to my teachers a right attitude is one that leads to harmony and peace. Wrong attitude leads to suffering.

When right attitude is our primary aim, we are shown the path that is best. It will always include the happiness of others, as well as ourselves.

The practice I follow is to notice when I have a wrong attitude, (that will be whenever I am feeling dissatisfaction or suffering) and bring myself back to the breath of Spirit that is breathing me.

I then rejoice that this is my real home. I let the breath slow me down and relax my body.

With this pause I become ever more aware that lovingkindness includes being compassionate with myself for not being able to keep centered in God, poised in the Christ Mind, no matter how much I desire to.

Straying from my purpose of teaching and expressing love happens. I just fall off the path.

The path of Spirit is a razor’s edge, after all. Not easy to walk on.

Noticing and coming back to God Mind as often as possible is what I can do to relieve suffering. This leads me to a sense of well being, of real pleasure.

And my genes know it!

Wow — what a reciprocal world we live in. Always giving and receiving — breathing in and breathing out. Just make the shift back to God, over and over, and again and again. It’s coming home to our hearts.

As we continue on the path of serving God by finding respectful ways of loving ourselves and others, we are being led into a deeper happiness and ever greater health.

And your genes will love you for it.

-Rev. Billie Blain

The Challenge of Fear

9/14/2013

We can either turn and face our fears — or be chased down by them. Such a choice! But whichever we choose, fear is to be reckoned with.

Let’s look at one of our major fears, though often unrecognized – the fear of not being good enough — of being somehow flawed.

It’s such an uncomfortable state to experience that we often push it into the unconscious and quickly look elsewhere for a distraction.

But the buried fear lies there and continues to haunt us. Not just haunt us, but to heavily influence our lives.

As Jung has said, “the problem with the unconscious is that it is unconscious.”

The human specie is the only life form that can reflect on their own death. Consciously or not, we are all aware of our own demise, as well as that of our loved ones. That’s hard to live with and can weigh heavily upon us.

Fear is just so unpleasant! Not wanting to feel this way, we look for something to make us feel better — to soothe our troubled souls. We want a little more certainty in this world of uncertainty.

Maybe we identify ourselves with a sports team, and when they win we feel really on top. And even if they don’t, at least we’re a part of a team. That’s some consolation, as it’s better than feeling alone and unconnected.

Or we go shopping to buoy us up and bring us short term comfort. Maybe we call a friend, or have a great meal.

We look for any relief from these things that go bump in the night and even haunt our daylight hours.

All the time these hollow, empty places inside us are causing anxiety. Sometimes we feel as if we have been dropped through the cracks, left abandoned by God.

You can stop reading now (if you’ve gotten this far) if you are not ready to tackle the fears that unconsciously run your life.

I understand, for many years I, too, ran away from them, thinking I could just pray my way into a positive life where I life would always be sunny, and relationships were always harmonious..

But there came a day when all I had pushed under the carpet made it impossible for me to walk, for the ground was too uneven. I was losing my balance. It was called depression.

The time had come for me to face the things which I did not want to face. I had to grow up and admit something kept me stuck in a life that was not satisfactory.

And it wasn’t God that was holding me back. It was my fears.

Thus my spiritual journey deepened.

I learned to face one fear at a time. I used my journal and my meditation practice to investigate my fear.

Direct questions helped

In James Hollis’ book, Hauntings, he invites us to continually ask, “What is it, or whom is it, that I am afraid of right now?”

And then answer it honestly. And keep breathing.

So, right now, this minute, I ask myself, “What am I afraid of?”

Well, I’m afraid that what I write won’t make sense or be helpful. I’m afraid that I don’t know the right words.

Above all else, I’m afraid I will disappoint someone. That one really hurts.

Last night when I was meditating upon this, the words from the 23rd Psalm came to me.

“I will set a table before you in the presence of your enemies. Your head is anointed with oil and your cup runneth over. Goodness and mercy shall follow you all the days of your life, and you shall live in the house of the Lord forever.”

This tableau lit up inside me and is still here. I feel the peace of this experience.

By facing my fear of the moment, an answer came that has been extremely helpful.

I don’t have to know everything, or even what will happen next. I can rely on the power of God within me. It’s greater than anything in the world. The table is set before me. I just need to be present.

Grace always provides just what is needed.

Your answer will come to you just as surely. “Before they call, I will answer.” Is. 65:24

All things work together for good when we are aware of God’s love. It’s here within and around us. God is love.

I invite you to keep finding ways to give your fears to God. You will be answered with love.

The rewards are great.

-Rev. Billie

Finding Support When There Isn’t Any

9/10/2013

Neitzsche has said that mankind is the rope across the abyss and that we all have to find support when there isn’t any.

What a paradox this is! The abyss is that place of uncertainty and ambiguity in which we all live. Predictions just don’t hold and we can only guess.

And we are the rope across this uncertainty, this place that looks as if there is nothing to support or help us.

It feels so familiar to me — and so very uncomfortable! How often I’ve felt like I was dangling out there, on a very thin thread — and sure I would fall any second.

Have you experienced this? Especially around 3:a.m.? I call it the time of the night terrors.

But this is all a part of our journey. That’s why it’s called the Hero’s Journey. We all have to meet the unknown and find our support where there appears to be nothing.

There is no authentic way around it. It’s walking through the valley of the shadow of death, while fearing no evil..

In our uncertainly we often try to grab onto something firm, but our true support isn’t outside us. It’s within.

We may glibly say we know all this, but as the saying goes, “We say our affirmations, but we live our denials.”

We all grope in the territory of the unknown. But Teilhard de Chardin has called it “directed groping.”

Evolution’s intentional thread is always drawing us upward. This is our support!

As we go within and slow the chattering mind down, focus on the breath, something eventually happens inside us. A new voice begins to speak to us, though probably very still.

We must wait on this voice, for it is our guiding thread. We gradually begin to find our 6th sense, our intuition.

Robert Johnson has called this the slender thread that shows us the way forward. It’s always here for us but we must become very still to see or hear it.

It may be very small, yet it will stand out. Maybe just a little wiggle, a slight twitch even, or a hunch. But suddenly we have an inkling, an idea about what we might do.

It will feel like the right thing to do, but probably not the easiest.

God’s support is always here, but the part we probably don’t want to hear is that we need to step into the abyss, the unknown, to find it.

If we won’t risk and become willing to let go of all that we presently know, it probably won’t show itself.

It has been my experience that this small thread is trustable to guide me into the next step, and then, step by step into my future.

What an amazing world. Time and patience help us develop our practice of trusting and waiting.

Rev. Billie

Showing Up

9/6/2013

Have you ever asked the question, “Why am I here?”

One of the best answers I have heard comes from James Hollis in his new book, Hauntings:

“…..we are all here to be here, to go through it all, and to retain our dignity, purpose, and values as best we can. This is all we can do, and all that life can ever ask of us.” Pg 133

Just being here. How does one do this with integrity?

Wanting to run from here, I have used many methods. “Scotty, beam me up” is one of my favorites.

But that magic doesn’t happen. I find myself still here.

Through my meditation teachers and my practice I am gradually learning how to be here, with dignity and to note when I’m not here.

I’m not here when I find myself living outside my body, maybe not too far, but still not aware of what is going on within my body. What are my senses telling me about the present moment?

“If you’re not sure where you should be, look down at your feet” Zen Proverb

Where are my feet right now? How do I know this? Can I feel them? What is under them? Can I feel it? What are my toes doing?

It takes slowing down for me to become aware. I have to shift away from my ego agenda of getting things done in order to notice where my feet are. But this awareness reduces bumps, falls and missteps. It’s very beneficial.

But then, after this awareness what do I do?

In my bones, in my heart and soul, I do know this one thing: I am here to serve God.

That means being in the service of a loving energy that I cannot ever fully understand, but must simply trust and follow as best I can.

Each day I look for those pockets of anger, hate and distancing that are within me. I explore and give my attention to them.

I allow myself to feel the pain and shame that are within these areas. Oh how they desire a loving touch! They need my attention.

Old patterns desire to be loved so that they can find their freedom.

My journal, as well as my meditation time, is a great place for this kind of investigation.

I find that in the end, I can only take care of what is within me to tend to. It is my garden, small it may be, but I’m the only one who can tend it.

Much as I would like to I can’t direct the care of my loved one’s gardens.

So I must show up in my own life. Not project my unease onto another.

Just showing up. What a wonderful soul intention this is.

God’s work or my work? That is the question.

Will we show up to love? Right where we are, right now? Will we show up to carefully hold our wounded self, and treat it with compassion.

Can we bear the pain of the hurt and woundedness of another as if it were our own? For at some level, it is.

Just showing up in the small moments of life helps us meet the larger moments while also giving us a sense of purpose.

“You may not think what you do is important, but it is vital that you do it.” Gandhi

And what a laugh it will be when I really, really learn there is no me or you, or his in all the world. It doesn’t belong to me, or to you, or to any individual or separate being. It’s all ours! There is only One.

It’s worth every bit of effort to show up. It’s our soul journey and it’s calling us!

Rev. Billie

Control or Grace?

9/2/2013

Not being in control does not equate to being a victim.

This insight came to me the other day as I dialogued in my journal.

I had been having a temper tantrum telling God how I felt because things were not working out the way I wanted them to.

After I spewed out all my angry feelings I put God’s name in the margin of my journal and let God speak to me.

Through the dialogue I realized I had two unconscious mindsets tied together. One was that when things were “going my way” all was well, and I somehow was in control.

Also I had a belief that when things did not go my way I was a loser and a victim.

Being a victim felt like life was against me.

As I dialogued things shifted in my head. I realized that no matter if things did or did not work out, I was not a victim.

I saw patterns, old beliefs, that if I gave up, somebody else would be the winner, and me, the loser.

But life is not a game of winning or losing. Life is about finding an authentic way to connect with everyone and everything.

I realized what would be authentic for me at this moment was to be willing to feel the pain of not getting what I thought was so vital to my well being.

Just feel what is, without trying to fix it.

So, I held myself compassionately and cried. It wasn’t easy to give me love, because I didn’t feel worthy of it.

Yet I know that love is an energy that dissolves anything unlike itself. Giving love was what I could do. I am not a victim, for I make choices.

In this act of caring for someone (me) who was hurting, I also realized that letting go of control is really a huge relief. I don’t have to manage things.

Which is very good, as I am also incapable of managing life. That’s God’s job. Mine is to stay connected to God as well as I can, as often as I can, as consciously as possible.

This is what grace is all about. Grace takes care of everything, and works it all for good, given time, patience and love.

Rumi’s words came to me: “Love turns all pain into medicine.”

How true this is.

Universal energies are always working for good, no matter what appearances might tell us.

Temper tantrums aren’t skillful. They only hurt. Self restraint is skillful.

Giving love, while also feeling the pain, can heal.

May your loving attention turn all your pain into healing medicine for your soul!

You are Godseed, here for a great purpose — God’s purpose — which will bring you much joy.

-Rev. Billie