Blog Archives

DUALITY VS. POLARITY

11/30/2019

How many times do we think in terms of duality rather than polarity?

For instance if someone likes a movie or book that we don’t, do we immediately (perhaps subconsciously) think that person is wrong?

How often do we divide things up between right and wrong, good and bad?

Humans have survived because we could divide things up between what harms from what was friendly. That’s how we got here.

We have survived thus far, but what is now needed is a new model.

It is time to view life through the lens of polarity instead of duality. We need a sense of unity rather than division and opposition in our world. We don’t have to kill or harm what seems frightening and wrong.

Polarity unites. Duality divides.

Perhaps polarity is best understood through the symbol of the yin and the yang—a circle half filled with light and dark, in which the light continually flows into the dark and back again.

This is the true circle of life where there is no division, only differences. Perhaps it is our job to find that which connects what we think of as wrong, or different.

All differences are basically two sides of the same coin. But we will only find the connections as we explore and investigate the differences.

By investigating and listening to what it feels like living from the other perspective we will learn new information. At the core of all this information we will find common ground. But it takes effort to get to the core.

We need to ask questions such as what life feel like from this stance? What is like in your world? And then listen.

Everything has multiple views. We gain more information when we can see from the other person’s perspective and can make a more informed decision.

By listening deeply to the other we can garner the truth for it will resonate within us. The rest is the dross and will dissolve. Only the Truth stands. That which is isn’t true has no real ground to support it and will eventually fall away. We can see this in the long history of our world.

I desire unity, not division. Thus I make every effort to step into the side that I have thought of as wrong or to be avoided. As I do this I learn something. I find a connecting link at the very core of what I had discounted or refused to look at.

Something new is born from this connection and life flows forward.

May you live in peace and happiness,

Rev. Billie

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CHANGE THROUGH ACCEPTANCE

11/19/2019

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No real change takes place until we can accept what is present in our life right now.

Without acceptance of “this is where I am right now” we cannot move forward.

This is true of any journey we take. We cannot move to a new destination from any place other than where we presently are.

If we are in California and planning a trip to Europe, it won’t help to imagine we can start from New York.

When we wish to make any change, we must start from where we are. This is true physically, as well as psychologically.

True acceptance is a process, and often a very uncomfortable one. There are states through which we must pass. We cannot fly over them.

If there is a feeling of resignation about what has taken place, or a feeling of helplessness or victimhood, we have not gone through all the difficult steps, but tried to skirt our way around them.

Instead we are still really wishing things were different than they are.

This is not acceptance as we are resisting the natural flow of life. We are holding onto our position of seeing life. There is always another way to see things other than our way.

By facing and accepting that this is the way it is for now, the past cannot be changed and only our view of life can be changed, we open to new possibilities. Even science has shown that everything is in motion and change. Thus everything is impermanent.

Acceptance doesn’t mean there is nothing one can do. Resignation means you have to live with it—so suck it up!

The first steps are accepting our thoughts and emotions just as they are, without judging them. Instead we work with them just as they arise. It is truly helpful to know that everything changes. Nothing can last, neither moods nor attitudes. If we stop resisting them they can flow.

But please let us bear in mind that we never need act (and advisably should not) on negative emotions. Just feel them as they reside in our mind and body, noting what thoughts they are tied to, and let them pass away. Everything that arises, passes away.

My practice is to contemplate and listen to the many emotions I feel when there is a loss, I begin to experience more peace.

As I sit in the shadows of anger, fear, sadness, overwhelm, something lightens up. I realize that causes and conditions have brought things to this place. Whatever has happened has happened. I don’t pretend to know the future, but I ask, “What is the next right thing to do? What really feels right?”

And I discover I move on. Life takes on a new arrangement, and this is a new journey for me—an adventure.

I often ask myself what I want. More of the same? Or a more desirable way of living that is more productive and harmonious.

Yes, I fully know that change requires sacrifice. If we wish change we must find ways to release our tight hold on our opinions of what should happen and what others should do.

At first that goes counter intuitive. We may think If we let go nothing will get done. Wrong. Karma is always at work.

What gradually occurs is that we realize our old ways of thinking and being has kept us stuck in unpleasant and hurtful places. What we thought we had to have is no longer. So what next? Nothing? Or something?

At this point I realize the only sensible thing to do is throw myself on the benevolence of the Universe—the very Ground of Being out of which we all have come, and to which we will all return.

For I now have discovered that anger, sadness, bargaining with the universe does not work. It just keeps me on the same old merry-go-round, which isn’t so merry.

When I can truly see this, I let go my tight grip on what I thought life was, and pitch myself into the psychological abyss. I don’t know what is here. I just know what I have been holding onto isn’t bringing hope nor happiness.

I take refuge in the unknown. I let myself fall into it and find out where it takes me.

Just breathing and letting be what already is. It’s a simple practice. It doesn’t require work. Just on what is arising and falling away. This is the movement of life. We can trust it as we become observers who know the universal flow of energy moves all life just where it needs to go.

Equanimity phrases, such as the following, can help us let go our angst and sadness over what has taken place.

“Yes, this is the way it is for now, and it will change.”
“Joy and sorrow arise and pass away. This is part of the journey.”
“May my heart/mind open to this experience with balance and ease.”

Phrases such as these move us into an attitude that accepts that this has occurred and moves us toward new beginnings.

We feel renewed hope that life does know how to proceed. We begin to trust Universal Energy, the very Ground of Being and accept this as our true home.

In acceptance,

Rev. Billie

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THE LEARNING CURVE

11/14/2019

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To enter an awakened dimension
often means living within its rules
prior to awakening to its truths. Rodney Smith

I find the above words by Dharma teacher Rodney Smith poignant to describe the learning curve of awakening. I believe it applies to most of life.

We must learn the “rules” of the game before we receive the benefits.

Learning anything requires diligent practice.

For instance, learning to play a beautiful and complex piece of music first requires learning to skillfully play the scales. This is a repetitive and often boring requirement. We most often are anxious to begin playing the concertos and the great pieces of the masters.

Yet, master teachers do not rush. Proficiency is required before a student moves to the next level.

We learn by doing. As Yogi Berra has said,
“In theory practice and theory are the same. In practice they are not.”

This is true in the spiritual realm also. If we wish to grow spiritually we first practice the rules of the realm—by doing them!

Different paths will have different “rules” or practices. Whichever requires following certain rules or precepts. We must repeat them again and again, not knowing when we will reap the rewards such as peace of mind, freedom from anxiety, etc.

One such practice is lovingkindness which has the ability to move us from hate, anger, and skepticism to a life of love and kindness.
But it only brings these results when we repeatedly use lovingkindness phrases which wish well-being for ourselves and others.
We repeat our chosen phrases whether we feel them or not, doing our best to actually feel what each one means.

No matter which spiritual practice we choose, we probably won’t experience the benefits until we are well into the practice.

Mindful meditation is another example. At first the student does not feel very peaceful during meditation. In fact quite the opposite occurs. The student begins to see the chaos the mind has been in engaged in. Before one began directly watching the mind the confusing, sad and troubling thoughts and emotions were unnoticed. Unexamined attitudes were running the show.

Often people quit meditation because it is so uncomfortable to watch one’s mind. It requires the commitment to continue whether or not we are finding peace and equanimity. This is much like learning the scales before one can play the beautiful music.

So it is with lovingkindness. Over time as we repeatedly use our chosen phrases, they begin to create the feeling of love and kindness in our heart and mind. And this changes our entire view of life—of ourselves and others.

We actually begin acting in a kinder manner.

But there is a learning curve. If the reader has an interest in cultivating more kindness in his/her life, I offer some suggestions to cultivate lovingkindness.

First of all there are no definite phrases that must be used in this ancient tradition. One can use statements such as:

   May I feel safe and protected.
   May I be happy.
   May I be courageous and strong.
   May I live in lovingkindness.

One repeats their chosen phrases first for themselves, then for a friend, followed by someone with whom they are having difficulty. Then we speak these wishes for the well-being of all humanity and all life.

This process only brings benefits when we use the phrases over and over. They gradually form an attitude of lovingkindness within us, freeing us from anger, hate and fear.

The universe is reciprocatory. It gives back to us what we give to it.

By wishing everyone (and not omitting ourselves) we gradually become aware of the amazing spiritual beings each one of us is.

We see differently. Our view changes. These are the benefits of following the rules, or guidelines of our practice.

We find we sleep better and enjoy each day more. We develop equanimity, understanding that our view creates our experience of life. And we have a choice of what we view by the thoughts we hold, by our responses to the events of life.

This is transformation of heart and soul.
All it takes is intention and commitment.
And the benefits are available to all of us!

In lovingkindness,

Rev. Billie

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GRATITUDE OPENS OUR HEART

11/7/2019

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If we are desiring happiness, gratitude will take us a long way towards it.

The good news is that gratitude can be cultivated! It requires the intention to remember that within any situation there is always something to be grateful for. This begins to open our heart and mind to new possibilities.

The truth is that there are losses and gain within each situation, but sometimes we don’t notice any possible gain, as the loss seems so devastating.

However, we can choose to become aware of what our mind is feeling and what we are thinking about. This is important, for neuroscience tells us that mind structures the brain.

Our attention structures our brain. Many times each day I ask myself what my mind is focusing on right now. Is it worry? Is it anger? Is it sadness? Am I remembering a painful situation? Am I concerned over plans that I am putting together?

No matter what my mind is focusing on, I have a choice as to my response.

The ability to choose my response is a gift and I am grateful for this amazing gift of choice!

I don’t get to choose the outcome, but I do choose my response. Each response affects my life, and I believe affects the world, as we are all interconnected.

Or we can stay in reactivity—simply being unaware of what our mind is doing and following our conditioned behavior. But reactivity offers no solutions to what we are facing. Instead it will keep us on that hamster wheel, going round and round and staying stuck with the same old challenges.

Our decision to be grateful that we can choose gives us power. We are not totally immersed in the situation. We have wiggle room. We have options!

Taking time to observe what our mind is doing slows us down and we are well served by not jumping to a conclusion and then reacting.

Instead we can ask, “And what else?”

We choose to become an observer instead of jumping into the contents, the story of a situation. We stay in the observer’s seat watching patiently as the scenes change.

We notice if we are blaming, ourselves or others. Blame is a sure sign of reactivity. Blame helps no one. There is no gratitude in blame.

It is important to clarify whether we want to be a part of the solution or the problem. This is our choice.

Whatever we focus on becomes more so. This is the way the universe works. When we focus on what we don’t have, we have less well being. When we focus on what is here and available to us, we feel more hopeful about life. This is gratitude.

Our focus cultivates neuropathways through which our energy flows. This is how our brain gets structured. Old neuropathways are filled with old opinions and beliefs. Do we want to keep walking down those old paths?

Our view determines our experience. Gratitude is a lens through which we see life.

When we remember to choose gratitude we open new neural pathways in our brain.

Each choice either brightens our future or creates more darkness and despair.

Paying attention to what our mind is doing and the lens through which we are seeing puts us in a place of power in our life. We are not victims of circumstances. Old patterns and conditions do not need to win the day.

Gratitude (which is a decision) causes us to feel lighter, as it has opened out heart in compassion. We feel for what has been. We open our heart to the pain while not falling into the pit. We know what it is to suffer. We don’t discount any suffering or pain. And we also know that this is what has been and there are new possibilities. We don’t need to know what they are, but just open to them.

Through this process our vistas have widened. The future is not already decided. Fate does not hold us in its clutches.

Instead the next moment quivers, unknown, waiting for us to step into. As we do so we are being helped by invisible and subtle resources. The mysterious power of an open, grateful and compassionate heart guides us and reveals new paths.

We can be so grateful for this! Our heart feels more joy as we follow the inspiration we receive. We step into the new and unknown. Yes, this is the hero’s journey, and we are the hero.

Choosing gratitude takes courage. It is our choice.

In gratitude,

Rev. Billie

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