It takes a while to digest this truth, as it runs counter to our usual beliefs.
I don’t think any of us relishes the idea of breaking—open or otherwise.
I worry about what might spill out and what I might lose. Thinking there is so much to lose I hang on to what I have for dear life.
Status quo is so seductive. So comfortable. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
The problem here is that we often don’t recognize when things are broken, when they have outlasted their usefulness.
Everything is impermanent—even when we try to hold things together they are falling apart.
The truth is that we see what we believe—not what is “out there.” This is what neuroscience is showing us. (If this is new to you, please take a moment to digest this new science.)
We see what we believe.
We project what is “in here” (within our mind and heart) ”out there” and call it the world.
Instead of actually seeing what is “out there,” we see through our lens of pattern recognition, our beliefs, as neuroscience has proved. (watch “The Brain” by David Eagleman on Public Television Station)
The solidity of the world is illusionary, as metaphysicians and sages of old have said for thousands of years.
We give life the meaning it has, according to our beliefs. It’s like a magic show and we are the great magician. We just don’t realize how true and amazing this is!
We are taught through parenting, culture, peers, society and inner tendencies to see ourselves and the world in certain ways. These become habitual, fixed ways of seeing.
It takes tremendous intentional effort over time to reel in these habitual beliefs—to own them—bring them inside our heads and recognize them as our own babies. We gave birth to them and keep them alive. As we lovingly, gently do this we touch them with our love so that something new can emerge.
But things are continually falling apart. Our lives take a twist we didn’t expect or want.
And this breaks us open.
Usually we only admit things are breaking apart when we can’t hold them together anymore.
Eventually we find that hanging onto what was is a losing battle. We simply can’t control the uncontrollable. At some point, exhaustion overcomes us.
But life leads us forward, not backward, in ways that are mysterious and unknown. The universe helps us by removing what we won’t voluntarily let go of.
As Dr. Carl Jung has said what we refuse to make conscious comes to us as fate.
Spirit figuratively tears our fingers off of what we so valiantly and desperately try to hang onto.
We call it loss. Soul calls it gain.
Loss takes place continually. So does gain. But the losses seem to affect us more deeply because we fear death. We fear impermanence.
It is only in breaking open that we find the treasures buried within, just as the shell must be peeled away and shucked off from the nut.
Through this process we find that which never dies and is always here for us, totally dependable. It’s not the ego. It’s the very spirit of the soul. Soul energy.
When we accept that life is as it is, and is always working towards something new and nourishing, we learn the skill of letting go.
Letting in comes before letting go.
Over time we see that chaos is not threatening. It is what it is--something waiting to be formed. How are we going to see it?
Yes, it hurts to break open. Our armor seemed so strong! But it has never and can never keep us safe.
It is in the cracks that the new emerges.
When we find these vulnerable, unprotected places within we learn to pause and breathe into them. This is an act of kindness, for it allows spaciousness and flow to enter.
A helpful practice is to gently wrap our arms around ourselves, hold ourselves, acknowledging we are anxious or frightened about some situation. We can speak words of lovingkindness to ourselves. Soft, gentle, caring words such as, “I’m here for you. I know you are suffering. That’s why I’m here.”
This is the softness and the strength of love. The energy of love dissolves anything unlike itself. We, of ourselves, cannot do this work. Love does. As we surrender to love, the work is done.
Love dissolves the walls and armor allowing the healing light in so that new life can emerge.
By doing this regularly we break open to the light.
The universe wants us to live happily and well and is continually guiding us into more harmony and beauty. This is our safety.
And it can be trusted!