But does it help?
It may bring temporary relief by keeping the adrenalin flowing giving us the ability to fight or run, but in the long run how helpful is it?
It has been said that blame helps people feel good while they are feeling bad.
Blame may help us feel better for a short time, but it causes us to stay angry for longer periods and thus keeps adrenalin flowing, weakening our body and reducing the chance of obtaining a workable solution to the problem.
Blame keeps our focus on who made the mistake rather than seeking helpful answers that bring healing light into the situation.
When we really understand that blame doesn’t help we may begin to seek what will. I recommend investigating what our mind is doing each time we fall into the old habit. How are we seeing life?
As I explore the sensations of blame, beginning with my body, I find it really doesn’t feel good. My body feels anxious and restless.
Blaming someone causes me to be stirred up, angry and feeling overwhelmed. My heart is not calm. Energy bounces around in me and there is no peace or joy.
I also notice how much impatience I feel. I want what I want, and usually want it sooner rather than later. And I don’t want what is unpleasant or frightening.
By slowing down and going through this process I discover that this old habit begins to unravel at the edges. Habits cannot bear close scrutiny. They only work in the dark—the unconscious.
To investigate unhelpful emotions and reactions requires motivation that leads us to the creation of a happier life and a better world.
The question is whether we are going to settle for short term solutions that lead to long term losses. Blame will always end in sorrow and unhappiness.
If we are interested in creating a happy and peaceful life let us commit ourselves to noticing when the mind is blaming—ourselves, another, or any condition in life.
At first it may be painful to note how often our first response to an unwanted situation is blame and anger. But noticing our habitual reactions is the first step.
Unskillful habits need to be changed and we are the only ones who can do this important work for ourselves. We choose our attitudes—how we view life. No one chooses for us.
Socrates wisely said that an unexamined life is a life not worth living.
The truth is that we are not in control of results. We can choose our attitude, but cannot control the outcome.
But we can remind ourselves that universal energy is weaving things together in a mysterious way that brings new learning and possibilities into our world. This is a world view that I treasure.
The universe knows how to evolve. I can trust universal energies to grow organically. And this takes time—and patience.
In the meantime each of us may remember that we can rest in the underlying arms of God as Deuteronomy 33:27 states:
“The eternal God is your refuge. And underneath are the everlasting arms.”
The eternal arms of universal love, also known as the “don’t know” mind, is a place of refuge I go to often. The universe that is always filled with the energy of a love that is beyond our understanding knows what to do and how to do it.
There is no blame in love—only healing energy that helps all life evolve. This energy is helping each of us grow into our True Selves and live fully.
We all deserve happiness. We are all here in these bodies to learn, to grow and to bring love into the world.