Are we learning to wait? Patiently? Or is there an insistent voice within that says you must keep moving towards your goals? No time to dawdle! Do something. Don’t just stand there!
What about remembering that standing there is doing something! And there are appropriate times to just stand there without making the situation worse.
Waiting has been difficult for me. I have a tendency to become impatient.
A question I have been asking myself these last few weeks has been:
Is this an impatient thought, or a patient one?
When I notice the feeling of impatience in my mind and body I also look for the areas of tension—as impatience and tension are partners.
Just noticing the tightness and discomfort helps me remember to breathe deeply and let go. As I do this I remind myself that I don’t really know what any outcome is going to be and worrying or speculating is not helpful. It can be harmful to the body and the soul.
In truth I have no accurate knowledge where any situation will ultimately lead. So the best thing I can do—the wisest choice—is to let go and trust that something higher than my own limited understanding is at work. For this is the power of evolution.
Evolution is a fact. Science has given us enough evidence to accept that we have slowly evolved from the tiniest molecules and atoms into primates and at last homo sapiens. Sapiens means wise. Wise humans. Wise because we can make choices no other specie is capable of. And choices cause change. What is our attitude right now? We choose our attitudes.
We can worry and wish things were different. Or we can accept that we live in the unknown. It is both unknown and relatively uncontrollable.
We can make a choice, but we cannot control outcomes.
Living in this unknown future can cause anxiety—and often does.
When I feel lost and am not sure just where I stand I have a habit of tensing up, not knowing what I should do next. This is a learned habit that carries impatience within it. I want to know what to do —and as quickly as possible. I don’t like feeling lost and out of control.
Impatience is filled with such habits. Habits can be helpful but they can also block our joy. I believe unskillful habits need to be explored.
As I’ve written many times in these blogs, “Habits get nervous when they are looked at. They cannot work in the light of awareness. Habits are unconscious; they can only work in the dark.”
When I pause and look at impatience in whatever form it is presently taking, I am interrupting the habit. Being interrupted over and over causes the habit to loosen its grip and eventually fall away. But this takes time, patience and careful attention.
I take time to notice my body sensations. As I do the tension gradually releases. With each deep breath, pausing, I more clearly sense what is actually taking place in my body. As I do this my mind relaxes.
I also note that an idea may show up. I feel an impulse to go a certain way. And if that doesn’t work out, I’ll try another direction.
I begin to relax and realize its all part of the adventure of living!
Mistakes are necessary. When we try something new we don’t know how to do it and thus get it wrong. But we try again. This is how evolution proceeds. It takes risks. It uses novelty. It surprises us.
I can trust evolution. It’s been successfully going on for about 14 and ½ billion years. That’s quite a track record. Life slowly develops more and more complexity as we learn to express more of our Essence and find our authenticity.
I’m quite sure that the universe is not anxious and evolution is not impatient. It proceeds with utmost patience.
We all evolve slowly and surely, as does everything. When I try to rush things I go against the flow of universal energy.
Anxiety and impatience impede forward movement.
Where my path takes me I do not know. My question is, “Will I trust?”
This is my choice, as it is yours.
My prayer is to continue noticing impatience, and slow down to observe it very closely. It doesn’t like being watched and slowly begins to unwind.
And I notice that I’m more peaceful.
May you live in ease and kindness.