Indeed there are some dark and murky streets in our mind that are scary—painful memories, catastrophic events and the fear of those we think might happen.
Therefor we need a strong and wise being to accompany us as we navigate this difficult terrain. Let’s call this “personal power.”
The good news is that we have personal power, and it’s within us.
One form of this amazing power is our True Adult as described by Ron Levy in his very insightful book You Are Your Ultimate Relationship.
Our True Adult is our ally, has our back, and is our first responder in times of crisis. (I highly recommend reading his book for detailed information on how to connect with our inner power.)
We all have voices that threaten, shame or give dire warnings about all sorts of dangers, often imagined. These dark voices can weaken us, robbing us of the power needed to meet life.
Trying to avoid, numb or drown them out doesn’t work as they carry on whether we listen or not. And they work best in the dark underground of the unconscious.
Perhaps you’ve tried just shutting them off. Most of us have in one way or another. Here is where addictions are birthed. We distract ourselves through shopping, food, alcohol, mindless TV, fast, reckless sports, mystery or romance novels, etc.
Our unconscious affects our lives; it rather runs the show. These voices contain our beliefs—and our actions spring from our beliefs. Thus they need to be heard, but by our inner, wise nature—not naivety or fear.
We have within us—built in as part of our very essence—a True Adult that is always here, giving us the courage and strength to take the next right step. This is our personal power.
Confidence builds as we discover what may have been missing—that wise, loving, caring part of us that always has our back.
We learn to ask right questions which uncover old erroneous beliefs that are no longer helpful—beliefs that grew from circumstances and conditions that are no longer true.
Our True Adult helps us move through the tangled and frightening circumstances that life has or ultimately will bring to us. This is called the Hero’s Journey.
Despair, hopelessness and anxiety are always based on a partial story. Shame comes because the heavy hand of the internal critic has had the upper hand and paralyzed us with fear.
But there is a helping hand. By summoning our True Adult, that part of us that cares, observes, listens and allows the wounded child, and the coping child to talk. They can let all the anger, sadness, frustration and hate come forth—all that which has been bottled up inside us for ages.
Now we are not alone. There are two of us. This calms the child and helps make sense of all that has happened that wounded and hurt the child. This creates space for our Infinite Child to emerge.
Through this process amazing changes occur. New courageous attitudes spring forth, helping us through the vicissitudes of life.
We have found the power within us that never abandons us and helps us through life’s bumps and catastrophic events.
No matter what the past circumstances have been, now is the time for our truth and beauty to emerge. Now is the time for our wounded or coping child to connect with our True Adult, to make space for our Infinite Child, our Authentic Self, to lead the way.
This is the child Jesus said we must become in order to enter the Kingdom. We might refer to this power as our inner Christ, our Buddha nature. Whatever we call it, it is our True Essence.
Our Infinite Child has never been lost. Its voice just couldn’t be heard as it has been drowned out by the voices of fear, shame, and anger.
Let’s not leave a wounded child alone, but allow our True Adult to sit with her/him, listen and assure this child that we are doing the best we can each moment, and that all that has happened has had a purpose.
Finding meaning in even catastrophic events gives us the courage and strength to endure and learn from everything, as Viktor Frankl writes in Man’s Search for Meaning:
“He who has a Why to live for can bear almost any How.”
This courage, our personal power, is in every one of us, and makes sense of everything that has happened. Through connection we are no longer alone and can find our way forward.