Were you taught to respect yourself?
I didn’t feel much respect in my home, and thus I haven’t always respected myself or others.
I recently attended an Enlightenment Intensive retreat in which respect was a central message. At this retreat we were taught respect by listening closely to what was taking place within ourselves, and sharing it with another who is listening intently without giving any feedback, evaluation, etc. We took turns giving each other this loving respect. We listened with our hearts, truly caring what the other was saying. We gave no feedback, simply listened.
It was transformative!
It is so powerful to be heard without being given suggestions as to what would be a better idea, etc.
I found it amazing to experience the validation of my soul, my very being, when I was listened to deeply with no intention of fixing me.
This has left me with a direct experience of respecting myself, others, life, and everything around me.
Respect means slowing down. I have noticed how often I am pushing to try to get the items on my agenda done. When I hurry and push I am not respecting anything—certainly not myself. Pushing is disrespect.
Respect has no blame in it. Respect means that we care deeply, compassionately.
The Dalai Lama has said, “You must treat yourself as if you were your only child.”
An only child is a very precious child. Precious beings deserve respect.
I am now noticing when I rush, hurry or push. And I respect myself enough to look closely at these old habits. I bring mercy to them. I allow them space so that I can see clearly that this is just old conditioning. It’s not me. It doesn’t add to my joy or pleasure. By slowing down and investigating I am respectfully attending to these old habits. I let them be and accept that this is the way it is for now. And it will change.
As I do this, change takes place for I have stopped rushing and am more open to helpful options that arise in a calm mind.
This feels like heaven.
Each child is precious—you, me and everyone. Are we willing to listen to each other? (If one speaks in an abusive manner conversation must be terminated. Abuse is not respect and we shut down when we are frightened or angry.)
Respect relieves suffering. And it can be learned if one is motivated and intentional.