Right speech includes the following:
1) Are our words kind?
2) Are they true?
3) Are they necessary?
4) Are they timely?
In previous blogs we have discussed the first three. Now we will consider the timing of our words.
There is an old saying, “Timing is everything.”
There is a time to speak and a time to listen, to withhold.
When we are out of sync with the natural rhythm of life, we don’t feel life’s rhythm, only our own self-directed will leading the way. This will lead to upset, hurts, misunderstanding and disappointment, if not sooner, then later.
Our words don’t heal when we are out of harmony with life’s beautiful rhythm. They hurt and confuse and we are misunderstood.
When we are hasty or upset we lose our timing. Words come out that we later regret and make a situation worse.
Thus we must take time to feel and sense the energy field we always live in before we speak to sense the timing, the ripeness of what is happening before we move.
As a child I loved playing double jump rope. It required three people. Two holding the ropes at either end, turning them in alternating rhythms, while I jumped in doing my best not to get entangled. I remember waiting to feel the rhythm of each rope before jumping in. How I delighted in jumping as many times possible until I hit one of the ropes. Then it was the next person’s turn.
It was all a matter of timing—feeling for the right moment.
In a similar way we need to feel for the timing of our words. We must get quiet and listen before we speak. Time and patience are required for our words to reach into the other person’s heart so that we really connect.
Will the other person hear what we are trying to communicate? Is this the right time? Or should we wait until there is a possibility of being heard?
We may have much wisdom to share, but if the other person is not in a space to hear us that wisdom falls on deaf ears.
There is a natural flow that leads to healing. When we are in that flow, listening deeply, our words will be appropriate.
Sometimes silence is best. We must listen deeply in order to know when to speak and then share the words that we feel will be most helpful.
Slowing down helps immensely.
I often have spoken too quickly. When there is confusion and upset, we need to take time to inwardly ask ourselves what is going on inside our own mind and heart.
What is our motive? Do we want to connect, or do we want to convince or force?
If the other person is distressed, sad, frightened or angry it is best to draw them out before we speak. If we don’t know how the other person feels and thinks, we cannot connect.
Listening to the other is a powerful way to bring harmony. Really listening, not planning our next words while they are speaking, or interrupting, but really caring how the other might be feeling and doing our best to connect with their heart before we speak.
Breathing consciously and listening for the rhythm helps immensely.
The universe is always singing, dancing and flowing. Are we listening? Are we hearing? Entering the dance and moving with the flow brings grace, healing and joy.
This is also true for our inner conversations, for there is always a dialogue going on inside our mind. What is the tone of our thoughts? Are our words damaging, or helpful? What is our motive? Do we want to be supportive of ourselves and others?
We are engaged in Holy work. We are here for a Divine purpose. Each of us is a note of the song of the universe. Our voice is needed.
Let our intention be to be truly helpful as we speak and act as nothing is accomplished without patience and love.