Wanting seems to drive us.
How often do we find ourselves wanting something? Something is not here, and we want it.
“I want 5 o’clock to come so I can go home.”
“I want the kids to be quiet.”
“I want a clean house.”
“I want a bigger house.”
“I want a new car.”
“I want my team to win.”
“I want someone else to do this work.”
“I want …………… to agree with me.”
“I want the bills to be paid.”
“I want to feel better.”
The list goes on and on.
As the cartoon character Ziggy said, “My problem is that I want my life to be the way it isn’t.”
Perhaps we all have his problem!
Each time we think or say, “I want…………..……” what is going through our mind? Through our body?
Can we feel the tension that lies under this state of wanting?
Is there a tightening somewhere in our body?
Webster tells us the root word for “want” is “lack” or “to be in want.”
The word itself means there is a deficiency of something.
Rumi has said “Be suspicious of your wants.”
When we are in the wanting state of mind we are saying the present moment is not enough. There is something wanting here--lacking.
The feeling of not having, or yearning for something, is a definition of dissatisfaction, suffering.
It hurts to want and not have.
Words are important, for they create the way we see and experience the world. They are filled with an energy, a vitality that brings thoughts into form.
The word became “flesh” as the Bible tells us in John Chapter 1, which is a symbolic way of saying the energy within the word itself (the logos) has the power to form and shape.
The Word becomes matter, flesh.
Words—spoken or unspoken—help us connect the dots and make sense of life. They form the basis of how we see ourselves and others.
Thus it is important to investigate the words we use, for they are creating our world.
Reaching for—wanting something—causes suffering. We feel a deficiency within by wanting it, and even when we get it, it can’t last as everything is impermanent. Thus we will suffer when it leaves.
But the intellect says, “Well I can’t help it. Of course I want things to be different. I don’t have this (whatever it is) and I want it.”
Naturally we desire fulfillment, but this comes through learning the art of acceptance of the way things are, rather than wishing they were different.
Acceptance is not “grin and bear it.” That is toleration, which is not the same as a welcoming accepting heart, knowing that the way things are is the way things need to be, for they have come about in an organic way through the energy within the words (the causes and the conditions).
If you haven’t recently read, “The Guest House” by Rumi, you might google it. It suggests that it is wise to welcome all that life brings, knowing it will transform into something desirable we listen deeply, not trying to push something out the door. Treat everything as a guest.
Think what goes on within us if we are trying to get well fast. Or say “Well it’s time to move on. I’m not going to think about this anymore.” That does not describe acceptance.
It is the small subtle choices we make everyday that determine the quality of our experience. We are not victims. We can learn to accept what is without trying to get something or make it disappear.
In fact, until we accept the way things are is the way they are, and be OK with this, the past will just continue repeating itself in a similar manner.
Our wishing things to be different won’t change them.
But our investigation into our thoughts, feelings (our five senses) and our emotions can transform everything.
There is nothing we can’t learn and grow from. What do we fear is lacking?
Thinking want and lack creates more lack.
What is it that our heart truly desires? What would fulfill us and bring forth contentment and joy?
I believe all humans really desire two things—to receive love and to give love.
These two activities are absolutely vital to a happy life, and both are possible in the here and now.
Each time someone smiles at you, says something kind, truly receive these words. They are for you. Don’t let the gifts go unnoticed.
As well as taking in all the compliments others give us, the good news is that we can develop an attitude of gratitude by practicing gratitude.
The universe is loving us so much that it is breathing us right now. What a great form of love this is. Receive it with gratitude by paying attention to it.
Dr. Carl Jung says we all walk in shoes too small for us. What if we understood there is something within us, a divine power that is greater than anything we have every thought?
What if we realized we have been created by universal energies of love, and therefore our Essence is love?
Try it. Take a few moments each day. Discover how wonderful it feels to receive love.
We can certainly give love. All we need do is send a thought of love via a prayer, a call, visit, or email to someone. Or see the kindness or beauty in another and tell them.
Receiving and giving love are that simple. All it takes is willingness.
As we do this we move from a place of want—of lack—into contentment. No more wanting. What is truly valuable is already here.